tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post3362220416938011512..comments2023-11-03T06:20:21.067-04:00Comments on Finding Our Way: An explainationAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05559379825105852488noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-59257919128752610102010-09-01T20:14:38.196-04:002010-09-01T20:14:38.196-04:00i don't think you need to explain yourself. wh...i don't think you need to explain yourself. what one family does to celebrate those they love may be odd to another family. i know when my uncle chuck died and we did the "wargo wave" at his funeral, we probably got more than a few strange looks. but it was important to us, as important as this headstone is to you.I Just Love Youhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11019493669764729700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-20546066259283433702010-08-29T14:20:02.364-04:002010-08-29T14:20:02.364-04:00I think it is perfect and exactly what I would hav...I think it is perfect and exactly what I would have done. I think of you all the time especially when I listen to The Climb with my special little girl.Cathyhttp://www.bellagiodove.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-40266140294923011742010-08-27T08:35:36.776-04:002010-08-27T08:35:36.776-04:00Joany,
I have wanted to post a comment for a long ...Joany,<br />I have wanted to post a comment for a long time. I write it, delete, try again...Carlys death broke my heart, for so many reasons, of course. Sweet Carly, not fair.<br />One of the reasons is because of the pain I know your other children felt. My kids love Will so much, they already argue who he will live with when mom and dad are to old (no fights over who takes care of us--guess I better start looking at nursing homes for ourselves!) So I guess that is why I finally am able to find the words to comment today.<br />Siblings of a child with DS are so lucky, funny it was the only thing that I worried about when Will was born with DS, how they would feel...hee hee, if I only knew. They are so proud, so in love.<br />Your headstone is perfect, 100%.<br />I think of you often, I carry Carly in my heart.kim knippnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-80982120400483028142010-08-27T00:17:16.312-04:002010-08-27T00:17:16.312-04:00Thanks for this post!! As we just buried my dad an...Thanks for this post!! As we just buried my dad and picked out a headstone last week, we began to think about our future (my hubby & I) and the need to pre-plan a few things. And I love this way for Carly to be with you and Paul. I never put any thought into the 'placement' (can't think of a better word) of burying Max someday. This is perfect.<br />And I love Ashleigh's comment about more or less taking over the motherly role for Carly if you had passed first. I see that already with Max's big sister. It is such a special bond!Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11988590894638135312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-90044812425374717622010-08-26T22:11:44.744-04:002010-08-26T22:11:44.744-04:00Now, if only more conversations in "real life...Now, if only more conversations in "real life" (not that blog life isn't real - hopefully you know what I mean) went this way!<br /><br />I agree - way to go to the anonymous commenter for making herself known and continuing to clarify, and way to go for Joany in answering and shedding more light as she did.<br /><br />Somehow there's a freedom to express more of what we really feel in these blogs and comments, a freedom that can be hard to come by elsewhere. Maybe it is because people who stay and read and comment here are ones who welcome talking about real life and real pain.<br /><br />All I know is, it is great to see these kinds of healthy, open exchanges.<br /><br />Thank you, Joany, for continuing to write in the midst of suffering and loss. Seems like it might be even more of an outlet than a grief counselor, in some ways - especially in connecting with others who have endured death and know, deeply know, the agony you are going through.<br /><br />I appreciate you.<br /><br />Cathy in MissouriGroveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14867095709948739457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-52886447928013687612010-08-26T20:14:48.420-04:002010-08-26T20:14:48.420-04:00Joany - I absolutely LOVE the headstone!! It is so...Joany - I absolutely LOVE the headstone!! It is so entirely beautiful for so many reasons. Thank you so much for sharing.<br /><br />((HUG))Bulldogmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04773653470602929019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-14127180650010516012010-08-26T19:04:44.970-04:002010-08-26T19:04:44.970-04:00Joany I was here this morning and didn't have ...Joany I was here this morning and didn't have time to leave a comment. I was so moved by the headstone. I thought it was so personal , with all the things that just mean something to you and your family. Like the order of the names, it brought me to tears because there was so much of you all in there. It's perfect . <br /><br />My kids have that kind of relationship with Emmie too, NOT with each other but definitely with Em.<br /><br />I posted a post a few days ago don't know if you saw it. We had some sweet butterflies visit us and I couldn't help think it was Carly and Kristen. If you feel up to it come take a look. <br /><br />Love and hugs .Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10792117187001612101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-57684293226279490682010-08-26T15:52:43.776-04:002010-08-26T15:52:43.776-04:00Joany,
I hadn't read the comments on your pre...Joany, <br />I hadn't read the comments on your previous posts. You are so right, that those who do not have a special needs child cannot begin to understand the unique relationship that we all share with them. I have often had people comment that we act as though Laynee and Moise are more special than the other children. The response in the mind of my 4 "normal" children is simple, they ARE more special. I have a post on my own blog that touches on this topic. It is titled "Beautiful Shades"Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375070245303834905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-17992438503936476702010-08-26T15:50:44.874-04:002010-08-26T15:50:44.874-04:00I'd missed the post with the headstone until n...I'd missed the post with the headstone until now. I love it, though. I love your response, too. I'd never really thought that far in advance, but I have to the point that one day Peanut's sisters will have to be there for her instead of hubby and I. <br /><br />And, yes, I can relate to you 100%Debbie @ Three Weddingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11778199494515694006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-85986378253896961082010-08-26T15:34:38.040-04:002010-08-26T15:34:38.040-04:00I think the headstone is very fitting. As the par...I think the headstone is very fitting. As the parent of a child with special needs, I too, have thought about the future. And I completely understand how you feel, as I share those feelings too. It is my hope that my two older siblings will take care of Landon, but by my side is definitely where I would want him.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your feelings with us all, Joany. I can only imagine how you feel. But you sure put things in perspective.<br /><br />Way to go "ANONYMOUS"! It definitely takes courage to ask those difficult questions and even more courage to come forward. Good for you!!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02643251885429921088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-41986226618140042412010-08-26T15:11:38.383-04:002010-08-26T15:11:38.383-04:00Oh, I am very impressed that the "anonymous c...Oh, I am very impressed that the "anonymous commenter" fessed up too. Most people wouldn't and that gave her a chance to explain her side and that she didn't mean anything bad by her comment. Great job!!Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00587160152394379314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-23092191462832430982010-08-26T15:10:23.242-04:002010-08-26T15:10:23.242-04:00I have to admit when I very first saw the picture ...I have to admit when I very first saw the picture of the headstone, I too wondered about your other kids. I am so glad that this whole "anonymous comment" thing came about because I feel that it gave you the opportunity to explain it more fully. After reading your second post about why it is just you, Paul and Carly, I completely understand it now. I also hadn't thought about the fact that your other kids would have their own families some day, duh!! Everything you just wrote about the relationship that Carly had with all you is so beautiful...that is exactly how I feel about Ella and I hope that as my older daughters grow up, they will feel the same way as Ashleigh does. Thinking of you ALWAYS!!Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00587160152394379314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-12015494820455343732010-08-26T15:01:26.420-04:002010-08-26T15:01:26.420-04:00I was not offended at all, promise. You provided a...I was not offended at all, promise. You provided a great explanation (not that you NEEDED to) and it made see things in a whole new way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-17717400840796890832010-08-26T14:56:48.784-04:002010-08-26T14:56:48.784-04:00No worries. I was not mad or upset at your comment...No worries. I was not mad or upset at your comment. And thank you for fessing up! ;o) You didn't offend me in any way. Believe me, I've had people say all sorts of unbelievable things to me since we lost Carly. What you said is really nothing in the grand scheme of things.<br />Hopefully, you are not offended by my response. That was NOT my intention.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05559379825105852488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-255951012222677498.post-53516840022661973462010-08-26T14:49:29.983-04:002010-08-26T14:49:29.983-04:00Hi, I am the anonymous commenter. I posted that co...Hi, I am the anonymous commenter. I posted that comment from my phone and didn't realize i clicked that option instead of my google account. I really appreciate your answer, and it makes a lot of sense. I hadn't thought about the fact that your older children would be buried with their own families someday, i guess I was just thinking about the present. I'm sorry if i seemed at all insensitive, as that was definitely not my intention. You made the decision for your family and I respect that. I do not have a special needs child (but I am a mother to a 2 and 4 year old) but I can understand your desire to be buried in that manner. It makes sense and i think its admirable. I am so sorry for your loss and again, hope that I did not offend you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com