"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hanging out and Why

We've just been hanging out. Trying to go on with life as best we can. The anxiety is eating me alive. I can't wait to go to clinic on Thursday, but at the same time, I dread it.

I have taken some pictures of Carly the past few days, but just don't have the gumption to load them onto the computer.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. I've been having headaches. Hmm, wonder why?? Anyway, I took Carly with me. As I normally do. I knew the doctor would want to check her over too. She had a yucky nose and a bit of a cough too. Poor kid also has a "raging ear infection" as the doc put it. She was put on zithromax. I was worried about her counts falling lower. As they tend to do when one is sick and on antibiotics. So, I called the cancer center, just to be sure it was OK that she take zithromax. They probably think I'm nuts. They said, "oh, of course she can take that". Just call me Nervous Nelly.

Anyway, I'm a slacker this week. Just hoping things go well on Thursday. I need some peace of mind for crying out loud!

By the way. Does anyone...or should I say, did anyone follow the Little April Rose blog? I'm appalled that anyone would pull such a scam. Makes me sick. I was one who was praying and sitting on the edge of my seat just waiting for updates on this tiny baby. Wow, what lengths some people will go to just to make a buck. Why? It's just really sad.

This has really just rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe because I have been the parent sitting and waiting. Waiting and praying for my child to live. To fight her way through. For God to pull her through. Praying for a miracle. We have walked that walk with Carly 4 separate times. I know the pain and heartache. How dare anyone try to con people over a child's life or loss of life.
Again. Why? It's just plain sad.

OK, done venting.

6 comments:

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

I am so sorry to hear about all of the stress you are going through right now and that you are having headaches on top of all of it!!! I hope the z-pack will help Carly and also calm her "raging ear infection"... is she too old for tubes??? (or does she have them and still has an ear infection?) I do not know anything about the april rose blog, but it does not sound good! it is very hard to believe that there are people that awful out there!
i will be thinking about you guys, especially on thursday - hope all goes well at your clinic visit with carly!!!

ABCDE=Party of 5 for ME! said...

Oh sweetie i'm sorry for all you're going through with Carly! Hugs to you! I'm not going to comment on the April Rose issue, but there's a post on my blog that sums it up!

Hugs!
Dawn

ABCDE=Party of 5 for ME! said...

I understand your frustration and hurt and anger regarding the whole april rose story, TRUST ME! I'm by no means judging you or telling you your feelings are wrong! I just think that to stoop down to gossip or spend anymore time researching and reading the other blogs (with all the "Dectective work") is time that is better spent doing other things at this point. Spending time with the family, supporting my other blog friends (you included), praying for people INCLUDING B and the other people affected by this whole mess! I had alot of blogs I was refreshing over the past two days, and just decided after reading Kaira's blog that she's right, enough is enough! ;) I'll pray that God gives you the same sort of peace ;)

Hugs!
Dawn

PS... i'm a stubborn woman, I personally feel that anytime someone enables you to feel "victimized" then they have that power over you... the sooner you're able to "forgive and forget" the less power they have and the happier that you'll be ;)

ABCDE=Party of 5 for ME! said...

LOL thanks (about D's chair!!!) its kinda funny, I was HOPING PRAYING and BEGGING that if she liked it, she'd figure out how fun it is and want to crawl up in it on her own.... but no dice! So it looks like we're walking into that appt with the neurologist on Monday for her, just as behind as ever!

I'm kinda scared.... seriously the practical mom says "oh she'll do that stuff when she's ready".... but the worrywart in me says "you're going to find out somethings wrong with her and its your fault"! Sooooo I'm feeling its a "darned if I do, darned if I don't" situation! I suppose the worse that will possibly happen is that they'll label her "DD" but if its something I could have been preventing.... I dont know if I will survive THAT guilt!

I've been praying for Carly ever since I stumbled on your blog... and think all your kids are absolutely beautiful! Hey.. us ABC mom's have to stick together right? :)

stephanie said...

Praying for Carly, and for you too. Stress headaches are the worst, I had one the other night that could have killed a horse. I can so sympathize with you there.Lots of prayers coming your way, hope you feel the effects real soon!Hang in there.

Michelle said...

I'm not familiar with the Little April rose blog - what was that all about? How did you find out it was a scam?

sorry you're feeling stressed - will pray for some peace - and that Carly feels better!