"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My hand was forced..

We will be seeking legal representation for Carly's rights.

I'm so very sad that my hand was forced. It shouldn't have to be this way. Hard. Complicated. A mess. It breaks my heart into a million little pieces to have to go this route. But, my heart breaks each time I think that Carly is not being treated fairly. Not being educated to a level that is appropriate for her. My poor little girl. She is so very bright. So very able. So very eager. So full of potential. Learning is what she loves to do. Every day. All day. She works so hard at every task she takes on. She does her very best at all she does.

Today's decision comes from another observation done by my mom. Mom and I are taking turns each day for the next couple of weeks...or how ever long need be, observing Carly at her school. Today, mom observed Carly during speech. Mom reports that it went quite well. Carly did a good job. Said words that she was suppose to say. Did all of her sounds. But, was stumped by some flash cards. These flash cards were action type. Such as throwing a ball, running, walking..and so on. Carly did several correctly and suddenly hesitated. The card that threw her was "walking". So, the speech teacher took both of Carly's hands and had her tap her fingers along the table, in a back and forth pattern. While doing so, she told Carly, "walk, Carly walk".

After the session, the speech teacher asked my mom how she thought things went. Mom told her good. But, she also told her that if she would have used the sign for walk, a light bulb would have gone off in Carly's head. Carly would have made that connection. The speech teacher said, "I will not use signs with Carly" and "I'm here to get words out of her mouth and that's it". I was floored and so was my mom.

After the speech session Carly was returned to class. Mom walked down to the classroom and watched from the door window. Neither the teacher or the aide new mom was watching. Carly was suppose to be working on some sort of activity. Well, likely she didn't understand it. I don't doubt that. However, if someone would take the time to walk her through it...she would get it. I have no doubt about that. The solution; give her a 'time out'. The aide said, (mom could hear this as the door was partially open) "well Carly, we're going to the bench". So yes, they put my little girl in time out simply because she didn't understand what she was suppose to be doing. Carly was not acting out. She was not disruptive to others. So, why on earth put her in time out?

Paul just called me from work. We talked quite a while about this. He's very upset too. Ashleigh called soon after. She is FUMING MAD. Ashleigh is working at a center for disabled adults. She is floored by the way the school is treating Carly. She is just as pissed and heart broken as I'm. Her words were, "mom, get a lawyer". So, that's exactly what we are going to do.

I told Paul earlier, I'm the one who has always saved Carly. I've walked side by side with her through each of her battles to live. I watcher her die three different times. Yes. 3 times I watched my daughter die. Flat line. Die. I've always been there to comfort her. Always. I'm the one who would save her. Me. Mom. It kills me to know that Carly must feel like I've abandoned her. Sending her to school where they are not doing right by her.

So, the school has forced my hand. No more will they mistreat my daughter. Punish her for doing NOTHING wrong. No more, will they fail to provide an appropriate education. Deny her first language..signing. I will not allow them to ruin my daughters self esteem. I will not allow them to cause my very mild mannered daughter to develop behavioral issues. This is going to stop. They will do this no more. NO MORE!

Sorry for the ranting. One day soon I hope to have pictures and happiness to share with you all. But for now, I'm pissed. I'm sad. I'm ANGRY!

13 comments:

Adrienne said...

Sorry to hear it's come to this. But you need to do what you need to do and what's going to benefit Carly. I hope this works out and things start improving in the school.

Regina said...

Carly is so lucky to have you as her mother!! We (us parents) are the only ones who will be our child's voice! I'm so sorry you are dealing with such ignorance at Carly's school. I am not looking forward to the school experience with my little guy, but I will be his voice and his advocate because I'm the only one he has!

Cammie Heflin said...

I am sad and angry too! This is ridiculous! I cannot imagine treating a child this way!

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

what happened (and has been happening) is just AWFUL! i can only imagine how upset (understatement) you guys are! i am happy to hear you now have legal representation and HOPEFULLY this will lead to all that you have been asking for all along (which is perfectly normal and should be a given!)

Heidi said...

I feel so bad for Carly - my heart just about broke when you mentioned she was sent to time out just because she didn't understand what to do. That is HORRIBLE! Good for you for taking the next step. You show them that they can NOT treat your daughter this way.

I am looking forward to reading about how the school responds to you seeking legal counsel.

Tina said...

So sorry that this is happening and that Carly is being treated this way. She is very lucky to have you for her MOM...

~Hugs

Shari said...

My heart aches for Carly. What you are describing is very wrong. WRONG! It makes me angry! Is there any way you could move her to another school in the district? Fight on Mama! I am sorry it has come to this! You are her advocate Dear! If you can please let us know how we can help you through this. Much love to you.

Tausha said...

Wow, that is so wrong. I am proud of you for standing up even more. You have to do what you need to do and we are all behind you supporting you.

Tina said...

Well I would be angry and really mad too. Good for you, go fight them, do whatever you have to do to get your daughter her basic rights. This is absolutely unforgivable and unacceptable I don't think any parent should accept it, and you will eventually be fighting for future parents who will also face this in the same school. In todays world of full inclusion in schools I didn't think this would be happening anymore. I feel so much for Carly, it's so awful I'm just wondering what must be going through her mind. Well I hope not for long. Looking forward to positive results!!!!

Amy said...

I'm so sorry for all you and Carly are going through...

Michelle said...

oh my heart just aches for you all and what you're going through; I'm so sorry it has come to this :(

Ok the ST - she took Carly's hands and fingers and moved them on the table tapping them as if walking - then she tells your mom she will NOT do sign with Carly. What the heck is the difference with what she did w/Carly's had versus using the actual ASL sign for 'walk'?? She DID use a form of sign (even if it wasn't ASL it was a gesture) and in my eyes that is the same thing!

And putting her in time out in the classroom?! That's just awful. Is there another 1st grade classroom she could be transferred to?

You guys are in my prayers!

Michele said...

It's sad that it has to come to this, but we definitely don't blame you one bit! It's sad how the school is acting. Very heartbreaking that they would treat any child this way, but especially our niece.

The Munck Family said...

Good for you!! I'm sure this wasn't what you'd like to have happen, but looks like there wasn't any other choice! Carly is a very luck girl to have you as a mama!

Ya'll remain in my prayers!