I want you all to know, that my venting is not directed at any of you blogger friends or facebook friends. Every one of you have been so very supportive. Please don't feel like you have to walk around on egg shells while reading my posts and trying to decide if you should comment or not. Surprisingly, comments do help me. As do comments and private messages on FB. They help me more than any of you could imagine.
Honestly, I do understand that people don't know what to say and that often times things come out completely the wrong way. I get that. However, I've had several people who do ask me stupid questions. Questions which are phrased in ways that would actually make your chins hit the floor. The best example that I can come up with for you would be, going to your 25th High School reunion and seeing good friends that you hadn't seen in 25yrs. Those friends who walk up to you and unknowingly ask, in a happy go lucky kind of way, "Hey, how's life been". Okay, that wouldn't bother me as much. I don't think , who knows at this point. But, when phrased in that manner by people who do know, well that just irks me. And Eldiva, if you're reading this,,,,it's not about your brothers. They asked me in a completely different manner. And they were very sincere and they were giving me big ole bear hugs at the same time.
One of the first things that the funeral home director told us to expect, were stupid comments. He said that often times people don't know what to say and say the completely wrong thing. He said for us to let those comments go in one ear and out the other. The only stupid comment that I heard (except that I couldn't remember because my head was so jumbled) was; " You know most kids with Down syndrome don't live long anyway. At least you had her 8 years". I couldn't remember what this person had said exactly and so I mentioned it to Paul and my parents, one night soon after the funeral. My dad pipped up and said, "I know what that person said", and he went on to tell me word for word what had come out of this lady's mouth. All I could say after I found out was, "It's a good thing my head was so jumbled, I may have decked the lady right there in the funeral home" .
I've been working on a post since the beginning of June. I hope to get it finished soon. It's just a tough one for me. I'll give you all a hint.....We paid one last visit to Carly's elementary school the week before school got out for summer break. It was a very emotional day and it's proven to make for a hard post to get through. I will eventually get it finished.
So, just for the record...my venting is never about any comments made to me from any of my online friends!
When Life Doesn't Turn Out Like You Expected
4 days ago