"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Be-lated Valentine's Day post.

As most of you snuggled with your sweet little Valentine...
our Valentine Day was spent at the foot our our little Carly's grave site.

Yes, the snow is still a mess at the cemetery. Although, the sun and mid 30*
temperatures have helped..that and the fact that we pull in and back
out a bazillion times leaving a tire path through
the snow just as far as Carly's grave site.

Most of the graves at the cemetery are completely snow covered. Still.
Carly's grave is the only one that has been kept somewhat clear
over the winter months. Paul keeps a path shoveled from the car
to to the grave and then he clears the snow away from Carly's grave.
A well worn path is very evident that we visit our girl quite often.

As you view these pictures, what is the first thing you think?

Could it be, wow that little girl is missed desperately?

Or, wow that was one loved little girl!

Or, how sad to have to visit your 8 yr old at the cemetery in order to give her a Valentine?

Maybe you think, oh my gosh, these family members have lost their ever loving minds!

Possibly you feel a tug at your heart and wonder, how does the family function
each day with a tug a million time stronger?

The answer to those questions are quite simple, or not so much.

Carly is desperately missed. Every. Single. Day.

Carly is loved. Our love for her has not changed.

Yes, it's terribly sad to visit your child at a cemetery. Be it Valentine's Day or any other day.

We also wonder at times, if we've lost our ever loving minds. We don't think so. Not yet anyway. But I can tell you that I understand how a person could completely lose their minds over the loss of their child.

The tug we feel in our hearts each and every day, seems to grow stronger. The loss we have suffered is very evident within our hearts. A place that others can not see. Although we can mask our feelings and we know how to put on a smile and laugh from time to time. Do not doubt, that inside of us, our hearts are broken. Broken into a million tiny pieces. There is no way to ever repair our broken hearts. It will not happen. I realize that now, after nearly 10 months. Repairing a broken heart of a bereaved parent just does not happen. Or even the broken heart of a bereaved sibling, for that matter. The saying, "time heals all wounds" ~ well, that couldn't be further from the truth. Time marches on, but our hearts are left behind piled into a crumbled, broken, mess. Unfix-able.

As you viewed the above pictures, you can see the love that is of a great loss to Carly's "Sissy".

Ashleigh printed a picture and included a message to Carly. Which says,
"Happy Valentine's Day monkey. I love and miss you so much."

Ashleigh always called Carly "monkey" And just in case you were wondering,,,I have no idea how or why Ashleigh came up with that nickname!


The Lehnick Family said...

Hugs to you and your family...so many miss this sweet sweet girl...

Tammy said...

Everytime I read a new post Joany I cry my heart breaks for you and your family. There is nothing i can think of to say that I would assume that could make you feel better, the only thing I can ever think of to say is that I am right here for you anytime,just say the word and I am on my way

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

I think it's beautiful... and if it were me who was in the cemetery and came across Carly's spot there, I would definitely think, "Loved beyond measure".