"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Saturday, August 29, 2009

A bit riled up..

Actually, I'm still revved up about Carly and the dentist ordeal. I just can not believe how she was treated. How I was treated. Not being allowed in the exam room with her. I'm still blown away by that. I really just kept thinking that they were coming to get me any minute. They never did.

Here's why I'm still reeling over this. You see, when Carly came out into the lobby where I was talking to that very snotty lady behind the desk. She was crying. Had been crying. It was very obvious. Her face was streaked with tears. It was red and blotchy. I was floored to see her in this state. I thought sure they would take me to the exam room. Especially if she were upset. We all know that never happen.

As we got into the car and headed to McDonald's, I noticed a nice red spot on her left cheek. I knew darn well it was from a finger. I watched it over the course of a few hours. I then determined it was in fact a nice bruise from a finger. Carly also had other bruising on the side of her face (same side where the finger print bruise was) and down that side of her neck. She had a nice bruise on her arm. I'll tell ya, I've been sickened over this. Yesterday, I gave her a bath and discovered more finger print type bruises on her shoulder. I'm pissed. To put it mildly.

At least if I would have been in there. I could have seen just how they were holding her. How they were treating her. If they were being mean to her. Although, they wouldn't have been if I were in there too. I do realize that Carly has lower than normal platelets and that could have played a role in this. Honestly, I don't think there is any excuse out there that could justify these bruises being left from a dentist appointment. Low platelets or not. After thinking about it, the bone marrow test in June left no bruising. If you're unfamiliar with that process. They sedate the kids and then put them on their side, in a fetal position. Holding them quite tightly, so the kids don't squirm or move around and cause some serious injury to themselves. I'm not kidding when I say they hold them tight. I've been in the procedure room many times with Carly and witnessed this. Through all those bone marrow and spinal taps, Carly has NEVER bruised. EVER! Even with much lower platelet counts on several of those occasions.

We have made the decision that she will not be going back to that dentist. It wasn't a very hard decision to make. I have already gotten a phone number to another pediatric dentist and I plan on calling them this week to schedule Carly for a 3 month check up. Our fear now, is that Carly will have been so traumatized through this whole ordeal, future dentist appointments may prove to be nothing short of a nightmare for her.

I hate being all riled up....

16 comments:

Tim and Kelli said...

Ugh, I am so sorry all of you had to go through this.
That is terrible, if they don't let you back there must be something thye don't want you to witness, hence the bruising.
Horrible, I am all riled up and I wasn't even there.
What is with people?

Ria said...

UGH!! That's awful! Now I'm all riled up too. I hope transitioning to the new pediatric dentist goes well. And I hope the new dentist is a better fit for you and Carly.

Shari said...

I know me and I would be riled up, too. There is NEVER any excuse good enough to bruise a child in a dental office. Period! The American Dental Association is a good place to start to make sure this dentist doesn't do that again! I feel awful for Carly! Poor babe! :(

Debbie Yost said...

I'm wondering if you should report this incident. If that dentist does not want to deal with people with special needs, he should simply say so. Like Shari said, there is not excuse for the treatment you received there or Carly's bruises. I hope you find a better dentist and that the treatment Carly received didn't traumatise her too much for future appointment. This just makes me sad and sick for you all.

Kristin said...

Wow - if our dentist ever pulled a stunt like that, I would explode. Take pictures of the bruising and be sure to send the entire staff a copy - maybe a couple of 8x10's!

Lacey said...

Good for you. I would take some pics of those and send them to that dentist just to scare them. They deserve it.

Erin said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that Carly's injuries heal quickly and that you are able to get some answers as to what occurred at the dentist. I can only imagine the questions that are running through your head, and I'm sorry. Keep us updated on what goes on with that and how her wounds heal, and I'll be praying for you guys in the meantime!

stephanie said...

Ever since your last post I've had you and Carley on my mind. It bugged the hell out of me that you were not allowed to go with her. I've never been told that. It instantly makes me think,What do they NOT want you to see!
You HAVE to report this... not to him, but to the ....what's it called. like the BBB, only for Doctors, if there are enough complaints I think it warrants an investigation. Anyway it will be a blemish on his record, and if anyone else checks him out they will see your complaint. That's crazy, how dare he touch her in sucha manner as to leave bruises.Take pictures too.I'm glad you're not going back to that place. He doesn't deserve Carley as his patient.... the loser.

Cammie Heflin said...

I'm so sorry you have been going through this. If it makes you feel any better I've never been back with my kids either. They have done okay, but I haven't sent Addy yet!

Heidi said...

I feel sick just reading about it. Poor Carly. I can't believe they wouldn't allow you in the room. I'm so glad you are switching dentists. I hope Carly is okay with the new dentist ... I hope they allow you to go into the room with her.

Tina:0) said...

You did better than I would have! I would have filed a formal complaint... low platelets or not, there should have been NO bruises!

Glad you are able to get her in with someone else. Praying that she wasn't traumatized with this appointment!

Michelle said...

I'm all riled up for you! did you happen to take any pictures of the bruising while it was still 'fresh'? I'm glad you decided to find another dentist and hopefully they'll be more patient and kind and Carly will see that not all dental appts turn out like that one did.

Lisa said...

You SHOULD be pissed! I'm pissed for you... and shocked. You should write a letter to the dental board in your state.

Lacia said...

This still really bothers me too! You need to report this to someone. I don't know who that will be, but find out. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with that!

Tina said...

Gosh I'm in shock, I hadn't read this second part of your dentist ordeal, but the simple fact that they didn't let you in sounds a bit strange...I would insist in future whether it's at another dentist or any other doc's, I think we as parents have a right to be there especially with minor children. I feel if its possible you definately need to report it to someone, or atleast make this incident as public as possible, noone should get away with such inappropriate behaviour. Poor poor Carly she must be traumatised, I hope it's just a faint memory very soon

Jeana said...

Arg, I am so glad you chose to leave that dentist! That is just horrible, I'm so sorry that Carly had to go through that and hope she can forget it before her next dentist appointment.