"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Empty.

My heart is empty as I type. I can't get into anything, such as details. We have none as of yet. And my brain can not process all that has gone on since Friday. Complete and unexpected loss may well be the very hardest loss of all. 8 year olds aren't suppose to drop dead. Not suppose to happen. No warning signs. NOTHING. At approximately 10:30 am, Carly started to turn blue, we believe she had a seizure. Paul began to work on her, but she had begun to turn purple.

Poor Paul was working on Carly, doing CPR before the ambulance arrived. She was stable in the ambulance with normal sinus rhythms and everything. She began to crash 5 miles away from our home, in route to UofM. We did not make it to UofM. She was to critical. She passed away at a local hospital in the ER, at 12:05pm in the arms of me and Paul. My parents were also at her side.

We can not express our thanks enough, for the wonderful outpouring love and support.

Fly high baby girl. Fly high. Mama will love you always and forever.

128 comments:

my family said...

my heart goes out to you and your family, prayers are with you and I pray for God to give you strength.
We all love you

The Sanchez Family said...

My heart is breaking for you right now. Praying so much for you and for your angel in Heaven. What a beautiful blessing she will always be! With much love, The Sanchez Family

JennyH said...

I feel for you. My heart just breaks thinking of what you have gone through and will go through. It is so not fair. You're right it is not supposed to happen to 8 year olds.

I have seen Carly's face all over the blog world... so millions of people are thinking of you guys and praying.

Bettina said...

Joany, my heart pours out to you and your family at this time. I continue to pray for encouragment and strength for you and your family through this time. May God bless you all and may you find comfort in his arms. Hugs!

Rochelle said...

We will continue to daily lift you to God for peace, strength and understanding.
Our hearts go out to you and we will continue to be here for you as you deal with the grief of this devastating loss to your family.

Hugs!!!

Tasha said...

My family is thinking of you and your family during this very difficult time. We will lift you all up in our thoughts and prayers continually. Carly is a beautiful little girl and my heart aches for your loss.

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce, Joany and Paul, I just can't stop thinking about you, your family and of course sweet Carly. She has been an inspiration to so many and will truly be forever etched in our hearts. I pray for your strength and guidance in the upcoming hours and days. We are with you in spirit. Hugs and love.

The VW's said...

Thinking of your family and praying often! I can't imagine the pain that you must be going through! May God surround all of you with love, strength, peace and grace today and always! Carly WILL live on! She was such an inspiration to many and she will be dearly missed! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

stephanie said...

i don't have adequate words to express my grief. i can't express how I felt about Carly. Every thing you posted and did i looked at and read and memorized so I would be ready. Ready for the day when Emmie would go to school, the dentist, I took notes.

Joany thank you so much for bringing Carly into our lives. She will have a place in our hearts forever.

we are grieving with you, and praying with you and walking beside you in spirit.
Let this beautiful blogging community surround you and help hold you...

All our love to all your family.

Kristen's mom said...

It is difficult to find the words even for me. We are all feeling empty. Just know that there are many that love you and that are praying for your family. Wish I could be there in Michigan.

Tracy said...

You and your family are in the hearts and prayers of people around the world. I did not have the privilege of knowing Carly, but it is obvious in the comments around the blogging community that she was an inspiration. We are all praying for comfort and strength as you navigate this new road.

Becca said...

My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. I've thought about you and your family so much over the last few days, and just can't imagine what you're going through. Carly made such a beautiful and indelible impression on so many people.

Bulldogma said...

I heard about Carly through a friend, and your angel hasn't left my mind since the day she left this earth. Your family is in my prayers as you traverse this difficult time. I extend my condolences, but words simply can't express the emotion...

HUGS!!

sarah said...

I am so very sorry for your incredible loss, praying for you and your family, and sending love to your beautiful Carly~

Lacia said...

My heart is just breaking for you Joany. I haven't stopped thinking of Carly and your family since I heard the news. Love, hugs and prayers to you all.

Kelly said...

A true inspiration, Carly will always be. She has touched the lives of so many families here in the blogging community. Thank you for sharing her with us. Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family. May GOD carry you through this difficult time.

Jenee said...

Joany how I wish I could give you a hug. I continue to pray for strength and peace for you and your family. You are constantly in my thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing Carly with us! ((Hugs))

AZ Mommy said...

My hear breaks for you and your family. Much love, hugs and prayers from my family to yours.

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

I do not have words that can say how sorry, how incredibly sorry I am for the loss of Carly! Thank you so much for sharing her beautiful life with us and please know how much we all are thinking of you and praying for you all during this unimaginably difficult time! It is strange how through blogging you really do *know* people and how many lives have been touched by Carly and your family! I can't stop thinking about Carly and you guys! Sending hugs, strength, thoughts & prayers!!!

Laura, Mike, Anne & Whitney

rylie's mom said...

My heart goes out to you all. I am lifting you up in prayer each and everyday.

The Henrys said...

I am so sorry for your loss of beautiful Carly. I am saying prayers and sending love your way.

Adrienne said...

I'm just so sorry Joany. My heart breaks for you and your family. Please know you are all in my prayers.

Lacey said...

Joany, we are all grieving your loss. Thank you for sharing your sweet girl with us, we all love her so much.
Praying for your family as you tackle the next months and years without your baby girl.
Fly high, sweet girl!

Heather said...

I am at a complete loss my friend.My heart aches for you and Paul and the kids.For all those who love Carly.For all of us who love Carly and thank you for sharing her so unselfishly with us.I send you my love and prayers for the days ahead and ask God to cover and keep you in the depths of your sorrow.

Fly high indeed sweet Carly.spread those beautiful wings and fly ....

Jo's Corner said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I will be Praying for Peace in the hearts of your family.
With Much Love ~ Jo

Tommy's mommy said...

Joany and family,

Carly was such an inspiration to us! We grieve with your family. Your love and determination, courage and strength radiates on and on and has inspired so many in our blogging community and far beyond. Carly was a gift beyond anything anyone could measure. I have never met you all in person but you have most certainly made your way into my heart. Sending prayers and thoughts of peace and comfort your way. May you breathe in and feel all the love and prayers that are coming your way. Much love. Sandi

Kristin said...

Prayers for your family.

Lori said...

I sit here weeping because I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Carly with us...we will all miss her greatly.
Many, many prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family.

Angi B said...

Sending love and prayers to you and your family. Your daughter was a beautiful little girl. xoxox

Tiffany said...

Praying for you and your family and your sweet angel.

Kari said...

I'm so very sorry. My heart is aching for you.Sending prayers of comfort for your beautiful girl and your family.

Mama Mason-Mann said...

There are just no words to express my sorrow for you loss. I can't even begin to imagine your pain. You are in all of our thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find peace again.

Amy, Stacey, Xander, Sadie and Chloe

Lianna said...

I am so terribly sorry. Please accept our family's heartfelt wishes for peach for your family. I don't think words will ever be enough. My heart breaks for you.

Denise said...

Thank you for the update...I hope you know how much we have all been worried for you and your family. You are probably tired of hearing us all say "I'm sorry" but we don't know what else to say. Our hearts are breaking for you and we want you to know so badly that we are here thinking of you and praying for you. Much, Much, Much love coming your way from California.

Beth said...

Oh my - I do not know you or your family, but my heart is breaking for you all right now! Please know you'll be in our thoughts and prayers. ♥

Laurie said...

I came to your blog via Renee and Her Special K's. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that your family is in our prayers and we are thinking of your beautiful angel Carly. Love and hugs!

Tausha said...

Words cannot express the sadness we feel for your family. Thank you for sharing your sweet little Carly with us. Your grief is shared by so many, we love you and your family so much and continue in our prayers in your behalf.

momtofourgirls.Kari said...

Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family! Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.

K. Adams said...

I sit here in tears with my heart is breaking for you and your family, I am so sorry. You don't know me and I have never written on anyones blog, but felt that I needed to let you know that there is just one more person, who you don't know that is thinking about you and is keeping you in their prayers. Thank you for sharing Carly with us all.

Little Liam said...

Our strongest prayers for you now, as you struggle through this most profound loss. Thank you for sharing with us your inspiration, Carly.

Kristin

Kathleen said...

I am so, so sorry. There are no words to say. My heart breaks for your family.

Wendy said...

My heart aches and while I cannot even imagine what your going through I feel such saddness at the loss of a beautiful little girl you so graciously shared with us.

I know that there are no words that will dull this pain or make it better but know you and your family are in our prayers and thoughts always.

Tina said...

Praying for you all. I'm so, so sorry.

Stephanie said...

my heart is broken for you and your family. It is not fair. So not fair. My prayers are with you. I wish I could give you all real hugs.

Chromosomally Enhanced said...

hugs...just hugs...

Stephanie said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Mom Of Many said...

I found your blog through Stephanie at Daily Smiles...

And I am stopping by to say that I am so sorry for your loss of your precious little Carly. I pray that God will wrap His arms around you and your family and all those who knew Carly and comfort you and give you peace. I will be praying for you and will continue...a parents worst nightmare...who can imagine?

The Colvins said...

I am a Ds mom and I am so so so so sorry to hear about your loss!! She was a beautiful girl. Please know you're in my prayers!

Cammie Heflin said...

I'm still in shock over Carly's passing as well. I cannot believe this has happened,none of us can. We have all prayed and prayed for you and hope you know you have a huge support system, we love you!

Regina said...

I am so shocked and feel so horrible for what you have been through! Wish there was something I could do or say to help! Just know that lots of prayers are going up for you and Paul! I pray that the Lord will be your constant companion as you endure this. No one should have to go through this. Fly high Carly girl!

Bethany said...

Eerie chills running down my spine. I cannot even begin to fathom the pain you are feeling. Tears have flowed here and we've never met. All I can do is tell you how much I empathize and pray that God gives you strength and healing. RIP sweet girl ...

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

Praying for you Joany and family... always always always. My heart is with you every day.

ds.mama said...

I have such a knot in my stomach reading this. My heart goes out to you and your family. Through my sadness I keep reminding myself that Carly now sees the face of God and dances with angels.

Googsmom said...

Prayers for your family. {{{{HUGS}}}}

sheree said...

my heart hurts so badly for the loss of your sweet baby. So many are praying for you and your family.

Carly will forever be an angel watching over you!!

(((hugs)))

The Lehnick Family said...

Carly is flying high...that is forsure...and she will never be forgotten. We are all saying prayers for you and your family...xoxoxoxo

Amy L said...

Your beautiful little girl touched the hearts of many, incuding those of us that didn't have the honor of ever meeting her. I am so sorry for your loss and praying for you and your family.
Amy Lucas

Melissa M said...

My heart just aches for you right now. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss - and hope that the outpouring of sympathy from others helps to share your burden even just a little.

A Lady Called Amy said...

love and prayers to you from our family.

Tara said...

Aren't supposed to, indeed. Praying for you right now and in the weeks/months to come.

Karly said...

I cannot even fathom. My heart is so sad for you and your family. Deepest condolences from a stranger whose life your daughter's touched.

Eric and Crista said...

I am crying as I write.....Know that our hearts and prayers are with all of you....

Shari said...

Oh Joany: my heart is breaking for you. The tears are falling as I write. I pray somehow you can find some sort of comfort in this tragedy!

stacy said...

I wish I had words. I can only say May God lift you up and hold you in his hands

Anonymous said...

Dear Joany,

I do not know your family, but I stumbled across your blog and it warmed my heart. The love you have for your daughter is so evident. I have a five year old daughter with ds. I am so deeply saddened by your loss and I am praying for you and your family. I know Carly is flying high...how could she not? You are in my prayers.

Jennifer

Tina said...

Joany I have not for a minute stopped thinking about you and my heart continues to hurt so bad...

We are all here for you, and know that we are all praying for your strength as you tackle the days and months and years ahead.

Carly was an amazing, beautiful little girl as I always said to muself she had the most infectious little smile, and for some reason she touched a very special spot in my heart....she will be loved forever. Much much love coming to you from the entire world

Fly high baby girl, fly high

Amy said...

I'm so very sorry. I know that sounds trite but I've been where you are and I am truly sorry you have journey on for awhile without Carly.

It has really been an honor to get to know her (and you) some through your blog.

So many are praying for you and your family. I hope those prayers bring you comfort along with knowing you will see her again soon.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I am so sorry ... I wish there were better words to convey the emotions. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing Carly with us. She will NOT be forgotten!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Carly with the world. She was a gift to many. I am sure she is flying high.

Cory said...

I cry as I write... we all cannot possibly understand the loss you as parents are experiencing. But we have lost an important member of our community,for that and for just understanding the Love in a parents heart I am mourning with you in spirit, across the miles. I lift you guys in prayer and ask our Father God to sustain you in the moments ahead. God be with you now and always!

Kelli said...

My heart aches for you and your family. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. Carly was a sweet little girl with an infectious smile. Thank you for sharing your little girl with us.
Fly high, Carly!

Jennifer said...

We are praying for you and your family and my heart is just breaking for you. Carly has touched so many lives.

Jen said...

My husband and I are in tears for you and your family. We pray that perpetual light shine unto her and may she have eternal life.

one_plustwins said...

God bless you, Joany and Paul. We will be praying for your family.

Karol said...

Aching for you tonight. Our precious Laynee Grace (also DS)left us suddenly in September. The pain is incomprehensible.
Karol

The Munck Family said...

Oh how my heart aches for you all. Sweet Sweet Carly, I can't even believe it! Ya'll have been in my prayers for the past 2 years and will remain there...may the Lord speak peace to your hearts.
Laura

Sasha said...

My heart aches for you and your family. Really there are no words. Take care of yourself and let us know if there is anything that you need. Hugs.

Jasmine said...

There are no words to express how sad I am. I've been thinking of you everyday and although we do not know each other personally, I feel a bond with you because of Carly.

She is flying high.

I'm so sorry.

Windmills and Tulips

Jeana said...

I like others, don't have the words I wish I did. Carly has taught us all about life and love. Thank you for sharing her with us all, we are better for it and her legacy will live on through those her life has touched.

ch said...

I cannot imagine the weight on your chest or the emptiness of your arms. Know that so many are wrapping you in prayers and aching along with you as we share in your sorrow...

Michelle said...

Oh Joany, I wish there were adequate words to express my sorrow. I wish you weren't going through this at all. My heart is so heavy thinking about you today, laying sweet Carly to rest :( She was a beautiful girl who touched many and will be missed by many who haven't even met her. Sending love, thoughts, and prayers.

Ruby's Mom said...

Sending prayers that our Heavenly Father wraps you in His love today and the days ahead.

Rosemi said...

My tears are with you for your loss. I am so sorry, but the Lord is cradling her and comforting her.

Alicia said...

I am so very sorry. I am praying for you and your family.

sara p said...

all i can say is i am so, so very sorry for you and your family.

and thank you, thank you for sharing your beautiful little girl with us, Carly was a gift from God. you didn't have to share her life, your life, with the rest of us, i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart that i was able to know her.

Debbie Yost said...

Again, I am so so sorry for your loss. I am praying for your family that you can make it through this most difficult time. I know the pain will never go away, but I pray one day it will lessen enough that you can enjoy life again.

We were all blessed to have known Carly, if only from afar. Thank you so much for sharing her with all of us. She is so beautiful.

Jan said...

The T21 blogging community is grieving your loss; a loss of one of our own. Nothing can prepare a mom, a family, the universe, for a loss of a child. Our thoughts, prayers and support are unwavering. I will triple hug my 9year old and think of you, of Carly.

Carol N. said...

Words aren't adequate. I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'm also very grateful for your beautiful words of enduring love for Carly. She'll "fly high," and guide the rest of us when it's our turn.

RK said...

I keep coming back here. I keep looking through old posts and seeing the joy on Carly's face. I keep reading about the way your family adored that sweet girl. I keep looking at Braska playing and thinking how much she would have loved to know Carly beyond the computer screen. And then I keep praying that God will comfort you, especially today, as you so deeply miss your princess.

Terry Family said...

May God give you the strength necessary to get through this. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. God bless

evrfwd said...

i'm so sorry for your loss. my heart aches for you. we are sending all our love your way. oxox

Shelley said...

I don't know what I could say - but I too have been thinking of you all - and sending lots of prayers your way. Carly and her family were definitely an inspiration. Thank you for sharing with those of us just starting on the journey - blogs like yours gave us great insight, support, inspiration and courage.

Grammy Blick said...

When my husband's grandmother was 96 and had lost her second child, she told us "Parents are not supposed to outlive their children." She is right. God's plan is in full force, though, and He knows you both. We're praying for His strength to see you through this home going, for your long wait for reunion and comfort for your loss. God bless and keep you in His will.

Donna said...

Joany,

My heart is heavy with sorrow. Your sweet Carly is flying high in heaven now, watching over you and your family. I cannot imagine what you are going through now. Carly will always be a part of you, one of the very best parts of you. She changed your life in ways that made this world more beautiful with each breath she took. I pray that God gives you strenght to make it through each day she is not physically here with you. Know that she will always be in your heart, in a place that no one can ever touch. The world is a little duller with her gone, but the heavens are shining brighter today with her there. She will never be forgotten. God bless.

Bailey's Leaf said...

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you and your family. You are in my prayers.

patricia said...

I am overwhelmed with sadness for you. I have been praying for you and your family. I am so sorry. Inexplicable. God bless you and your family and I love your last expression in your writing today... (tears)

Kacey Bode said...

I am so very sorry to hear this. I can NOT imagine the pain you are going through. I have been thinking of you and praying for you.

Mary said...

My heart aches. Your family is a constant in my thoughts and prayers.

Jenny said...

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am for your loss. Carly was an absolutely beautiful little girl. You gave her such a good life. <3

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

have been thinking about all of you and carly TONS today!!! sending prayers & hugs!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't know your family, but I just recently discovered your blog. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I hope you feel her love and spirit with you always.

Junior said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you on the loss of your precious daughter. May God give you comfort.

Dagmar said...

I am visiting your blog for the first time, because it seems you looked at my blog today, and I'm shocked to read that your daughter died. I am SOO sorry! Please keep us updated on how you are doing...

Hugs from New York,
Dagmar
Dagmar's momsense

Stephanie said...

I cannot add anything more to what has already been said. Please just know that there are lots of us out here, grieving with and praying for your entire family.

Hugs!

Steph and Christopher

Sumithra said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Carly was a beautiful girl and is now an angel in the kingdom of heaven.

Hugs & Prayers,
Sumithra

Angi said...

My heart is so sad for you, such a beautiful girl, gone far too soon...wondering what God's plan may be...

Kimberly said...

Can't imagine what you are feeling. There are no words.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rachel said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Our son passed away unexpectedly several years ago and it was devestating. All losses are hard but when there is no time to prepare, that seems to be especially difficult.

There is a song that I learned as a child and it really comforted me when we lost our little Erick. I wanted to share the words with you in case it helps.

"God is too wise to be mistaken,
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you can't see His plan,
when you can't trace His hand
trust His heart."

I am praying for your family.

逸凡逸凡 said...

wonderful...................................................

Ann said...

I'm coming over from Sarah's blog. Carly was and is beautiful. I'm so sorry for you unimaginable loss.

rachelm said...

Thank you for sharing Carly with us. It is wonderful that you have your blog as one more record of her life. You will both still have so much more to teach us. I'm so sorry she's died. It seems so very unfair. It's good that she was surrounded by her family, and that she grew up in such a loving home. We will be thinking of you.

Crittle said...

Though I've never had the pleasure of meeting you or Carly, Joany, you both have remained in my thoughts so much this past week. I thank you for all that you've shared and wish you the warmest of comfort as you learn to cope with your loss. Your baby girl will be remembered by me. I promise you that.

Christi Harrison said...

i'm so sad and i never met your beautiful daughter or even read about her till recently. God Bless you a million times. I pray for peace and love and joy in you and your family's hearts. yes, may she fly high. tears and hugs!
christi harrison

Natalie said...

Praying for strength for your beautiful family.

Kari said...

I keep coming back because I can't stop thinking about you. Your in my thoughts and prayers!

Katrina said...

You are in my prayers. I just can't even imagine the grief you must be feeling over the loss of your sweet Carly. May God give you the strength and comfort you need to get through this difficult time. HUGS

JennyH said...

My thoughts are with you. Carly is always on my mind.

Anderson Family said...

Many many prayers are being said for your sweet family! May you have the strength to get you through this incredibly difficult time. Thanks for sharing your sweet girl with so many. You taught us a lot about what to expect in the coming years. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for letting us meet, know and love Carly through your blog. Fly high sweet girl!

Mary said...

Your family has been on my mind since I heard the news. I have been praying for you and your entire family.

Kele@ said...

Prayers for peace to your beautiful family. Be still and feel all the love this community is surrounding you with. God bless you and your family and the little angel who will forever watch over your family.

Jennifer said...

Thinking of you and praying for you. We do not know each other, I have found your site through a mutal friend, Sandi, Tommy's mommy. I am so sorry for your sudden loss. In your post, you said "fly high" and that is what Carly is doing now, flying high with her angel wings. May you be surrounded my family, friends, and most of all, God's great love.
Many blessings to you and your family~
Jennifer

Loren Stow said...

My heart cries for you through this time. I have no words to say, as I don't think any words could make sense of this.
My heart is with you.

Courtney said...

my heart is with you, i am so sorry for your loss and will think of you through your journey with your angel.

suelmayer said...

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

DKAZ said...

I am so sorry. You are right, this is not suppose to happen to a beautiful 8 year old girl. My heart goes out to you and your family and to all who were touched by your sweet Carly. She has touched my heart.

Lisa said...

Love to you... and wings for Carly. Love, the Lindsey family

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful little girl. Sending you hugs and prayers.