"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Last year...

..at this time, Thanksgiving that is, we had a much happier home. Full of joy. Full of happiness. Full of laughter. Full of Carly.

I thought I'd share a few posts from last year. They are "Thankful" posts. Much different posts than this year.

For post 1 click here and then here for post 2 ending with this, click here for post 3.

We're doing things a bit different this year. It likely wont feel much like Thanksgiving, and we aren't in any mood to give much thanks for anything this year, but we will try. Try to at least, get a traditional meal. We will not hide and cower away. Although we are very tempted. As I said, we are doing things different this year. We decided to change things up a bit. We will be going out to dinner with my parents and my brother and sister in-law. Normally, we all gather at my parents house. This year, it would just be to hard to be at "Papa" and "Gramma's" house. Their home was Carly's second home.

Carly will be in our hearts, as she is every day. But no one is up to doing the whole dinner thing like we usually do. Believe me, we are going to miss that little girl something awful come dinner time. Carly had this thing, her thing and she did her thing every single time we ate dinner. Especially if we were at my parents house with the rest of our family. Carly would start with me first. She would point at me and I knew what she meant...it was time to go around the entire table while she pointed at everyone and I said who they were. Not sure why she had to do her thing every gathering, she knew who everyone was...but, like I said, it was her thing.We did this EVERY SINGLE holiday gathering, until we ended back with "Carly" Oh my gosh how we will miss that this year.

I sure wish I could be singing that Turkey song with Carly again this year. Just like we did last year.

Despite my feelings toward the holiday this year. And despite my broken heart, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. And remember, life has no guarantee's. Take nothing for granted.


Michele Risner said...

We will be thinking of you tomorrow..our table is missing one this year as well, and while she is just across the country, it's still very different from years past. Oh how glad I am that we were able to all come back last year. Love you guys so much

Kristen said...

"Take nothing for granted"...thanks for that loving message.

It's another one of those times when I really don't know what to say. But I can tell you I listened to every word you wrote about your beautiful Carly and what she was like at Thanksgiving. She sure was fun!

Kristen said...

On a side note: I got your comment about meeting up sometime in Ann Arbor when we're there. We always have appointments so I am sure that sweet little idea will become reality sometime.

Can you email me so I know how to be in contact with you. Then I can let you know what dates we'll be going there.

My address is:


Heather said...

The story of her pointing to everyone,Joany,that broke my heart.And if it breaks my heart,I can only imagine how yours feels.

Sending my love and my prayers to you all,tomorrow and always.

Tina said...

AS you find your way through another hard day I am sending prayers and love your way. I can't imagine how hard this must be, and going through the posts from last year just made my heart ache some more, what your state of mind must be is unthinkable.

We are all here and will continue walking down this road alongside you, through the hardest days of your life. Sending my love always.

Kristen's mom said...

I thought about you all day today.
I love to hear about Carly's "things"

motherofangels said...

My heart goes out to you! Your strength brings me to tears. And I believe that Carly is pointing at you tonight and thinking, "mommy, I love you and I'm okay!"

Cindy said...

Thank you for sharing one of Carly's Thanksgiving traditions. I was thinking about you yesterday.

Groves said...

This is a book I'm going to share a couple of places, so you may see it in other comments.

If you have not read this, you may want to find it:

Comfort: A Journey Through Grief
by Ann Hood

She very suddenly had her five-year-old daughter die, and the book is about how very much comfort was *lacking* in her life from then on. It is not a book with cheap answers about grief or cheap advice on how to get through it; she is honest about what it is truly like.

Thinking of you and of Carly,

Cathy in Missouri

boltefamily said...

You are on my heart...you are doing it one day at a time...sometimes it is merely about breathing and surviving just in this moment. Love and prayers.