"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

February ...


Sending Paul and Carly off to their second Daddy Daughter Dance together.

Carly had such a good time at the dance. So did Paul!

That night, after the dance, Paul came home telling me that about the only thing Carly said the entire time they were at the dance was, "mama" and that she wanted to "go home to mama". They ended up leaving about 30min's before the dance ended. I'll never forget that night. Carly walked into the house and headed straight for me. I was sitting on the couch visiting with a friend. Carly walked over to me, still in her coat and hat, put her arms around my neck and squeezed so hard. She hugged me like she hadn't seen me in weeks. As she pulled away, she then gave me a big kiss on the lips.

Paul came home that night and also told me how all the little girls at the dance treated Carly. Those girls LOVED her. They all argued over which one of them Carly would dance with...Carly, being Carly...ignored them and only danced with her "Paul" Paul said that Carly would look at the girls, shrug her shoulders, in true Carly style and turn around to dance with her "Paul"! Paul and I were so touched by how those little girls treated our sweet little Carly. They loved her. They babied her which was not always a good thing. But, Carly was a tiny little girl and that's' how little girls behave with little ones... they mother them.


Today is a tough day for us. February 23, 2011 marks 10 months to the day
that we last held our sweet girl in our arms.
10 months
10 months.

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE squeeze those babies of yours a little tighter each and everyday. . . and night, for that matter. You never know when your life could be turned upside down. It took a measly 1 1/2 hrs to completely turn our lives upside down and inside out. To break our hearts into a million little pieces and leave us with the greatest loss of our lives. Only 1 1/2 hrs from the onset of trouble right up to the bitter last breaths of our sweet girl. 1 1/2hrs, that's it.


Rochelle said...

I remember the post you did about them going to this dance and how the girls were so sweet to her.
We continue to pray for you guys.

Our son Aidan's bday is April 22nd and everytime I think of his bday coming closer I remember Carly and your family.

Hugs to you,

Becca said...

I love this story about the dance! So evident that you and Paul were Carly's world, and she yours.

Ahhh, and yes, I think of you guys so often and always hug my little girl tighter when I do.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could reach across the miles and give you a hug. I wish I had words to thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to follow along. I wish I could bring you a coffee and sit and chat about how profoundly you have changed how I parent my boys. We have never met, but I think of you every day. Hugs from Florida.


Unknown said...

Like Betsy I wish I could just hug you. I know it might not do anything. And I know it would never take away the pain. I just wish I could give you just a moment of peace, of love. I did hug my little boy tight, but I'd rather give you back your girl.

Shelley said...

Joanie - a sad and beautiful post. I promise I will hug my twins just that little bit tighter tonight, and think of your Carly too.

Groves said...

Oh, Carly!! I just wish you were back in your Daddy and Mama's arms!!!


I am so sad that you aren't. So, so, so sad.

Missing her here,

Cathy in Missouri

Aimee said...

Thanks for reminding me to never take things for granted. While your grief is great, it sounds like you spent a lot of time giving your little girl love. And it sounds like she gave you tons of love back. What a blessing that you have her hugs and kisses to remember rather than shooing her away or being too busy.

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

What a beautiful memory with Carly! Thanks for sharing these with us and reminding us to focus on the important things in life!