"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Monday, March 8, 2010

It's a Manic Monday

Carly woke me up at 10pm last night. I could tell she was having stomach cramps. She was pulling her legs up and in toward her chest. Like a big dummy, I convinced her to lay back down. Which she did. She even closed her eyes and feel asleep. For a minute or two. She then woke up telling me she had to go "potty". So, off we went. Much to my surprise, poor Carly had already had a major accident. She was a mess. She sat on the potty and went even more. Poor kid. Guess I should have gotten her up and taken her potty before she told me...I knew she was having a stomach ache..I just never dreamed she'd have an accident.

This is how she's doing today.

Not awful, but just not herself. Thank goodness she hasn't had anymore accidents. She gets so upset with herself. Even tho I tell her, it's okay and that it's just an accident.

To top off the morning...Carly discovered that Penny, our cockapoo (dog), had been sick in our living room. Likely in the wee hours of the morning. In two different spots. Fun, NOT! I got the cleaner out, which Carly hates the smell of. It makes her gag. Me too for that matter. Got the dog puke out of my house and all cleaned up. Laundry is going and I'm off to take a shower and try to wake myself up!

Told ya, It's a Manic Monday for me today!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Teeth. Sissy and missing poppa and grandma.

..Carly's complaining of a tooth ache. Remember this post?

Carly's teacher has sent me a note home on Wednesday and Thursday, telling me that Cary was complaining about her tooth hurting. Ugh! I have checked her teeth out each day. Even using a flash light. I wanted to make sure there was no abscess going on. Everything looks okay. To me anyway.

Yesterday I broke down and called the dentist. I didn't call the one we went to the end of Aug. That place was just too uncomfortable. Not to mention their receptionist was probably one of the most unpleasant persons I've ever come across. She was full of smart little comments, that stung just a bit. You can click here, for a refresher.

Anyway, I found a local kids dentist that sounds like she is wonderful. The receptionist was bubbly and sweet. Hopefully, this time at the dentist Carly will come out without tears streaming down her little face. I did some pretty intense searching this time around. I called other dentist offices in the area asking for recommendation for a pediatric dentist. I mentioned we had been to one in a nearby town. Each time I mentioned that dentist office, I was told, "Oh no, were not recommending them". Hmmm, I wonder why???

Come next Tuesday morning, Carly will be heading off to the dentist to see if any of those damaged teeth are in need of a root canal. I'm praying all checks out. I'd even be happy with a cavity at this point. Anything would be better than major dental issues.

Carly freaked out just hearing me talk to all the dentists offices I called yesterday. Poor kid. She is terrified of the dentist. Thank you Dr. J, for scaring the holy H out of my daughter. Needless to say, I'm dreading next Tuesday with a passion.


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On a brighter note. Ashleigh is coming home for a visit tomorrow. To say that Carly is happy would be an understatement. She is on could nine! We're all pretty anxious to see "sissy". We haven't seen her in over 7 weeks. Carly has been telling us all the things she and "sissy" are going to do. Here's the run down so far: puzzles, read all books (as Carly says), paint, color, play games, build with blocks, write letters and numbers...Yep, they're going to be busy sisters this weekend!

Another thing Carly is looking forward to next week. My parents will be coming home from their winter in Florida. They should be home by the 14th or 15th. Carly is missing them awful this year. In fact, she woke up twice this week, very early and I mean early, like 5 am early, asking for "poppa and grandma". She even shed tears. Poor little girl.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Carlys story. Part 6

Finally, Carly's story continued....

If you missed the previous "Carly's story" click on the following. 1 2 3 4 5. Or click on them if you need a refresher.


Shortly after we arrived at the ER we were taken into a room. Doctor’s began to file in and out. One by one.

The focus with any child who has ever had a heart condition before, is…let’s just say, about the only thing that the health care pro’s focus on. After they finally realized this had nothing to do with her heart, we finally got some labs ordered.

As Paul and I sat with Carly, we soon noticed that she was this awful color of yellow. Neither of us had noticed it while at home. Her tiny little lips were of no color. They were, well, colorless. White, to be exact.

Labs were done and we waited. As we waited, a very intense and nasty ER Doc., “head doctor” (as she put it) came into our room. She more or less scolded us. Her words will forever stay etched in my mind. Along with her finger wagging in our faces, “This is a seriously sick child, do you understand that?” We were really put off by her. I of course snapped back, as I took on my defensive roll, “We know she's sick, or we wouldn’t be here”!

Even though we had the nasty head doctor that night in the ER, we had several very concerned and compassionate doctors and nurses. One that came in with the preliminary results of the lab work, told us of course the devastating results. Leukemia. She talked with us for quite a while. She explained that they couldn't be certain, but it looked like it. I now know that she, couldn't confirm the diagnosis for us. It had to be done by Oncology. This is how she put it. She said, “We aren’t 100% certain. Think of it like this. It’s like your standing a beach, looking out into the horizon. You see an object way, far out. You can’t really make out the object, but you assume that it’s a boat of some sort. As you stand there, it becomes a little clearer to you. Yes, a boat. What kind, you’re still not sure. Time will tell as it gets closer to you. Whether or not it’s a sailboat or a ship.”

As we cried for what seemed like forever. Paul and I sat holding Carly and each other. We decided it was time to make those dreaded phone calls to family members. Paul called Ashleigh and Brad. He also called my parents. I was too much of a wreck to do either of those calls. My parents were at a wedding in Bay City that night. We were in Ann Arbor. Quite a distance between the two. They told Paul they were heading to the hospital and would be there in a few hours.

After I gained my composure. I finally went outside with my cell phone. I called the kids and my parents (who were at that time heading to Ann Arbor) and my brother. Ashleigh, was in total disbelief. She kept telling me, "no, mom, they're wrong". My brother, he was in shock too. Matter of fact, there was a very long pause from him after I told him the news. At one point, I thought I had lost my connection. I even looked at my phone to be sure I still had a signal. I soon realized he too was in shock. I asked him to call our oldest brother. My call waiting was ringing. It was my mom. We cried and cried forever while on the phone. She just kept saying, “We’re on our way, we’re on our way”.

Within an hour of talking to my family. Pastor Bob, from our church came into the ER. He sat with us. Cried with us. Prayed over Carly. Prayed over all three of us. He did so, all while he was battling an awful sinus infection. He ended up staying with us into the wee hours. He wanted to see us to our room on that scary 7th floor of Motts Children’s Hospital. We didn’t get to our room until around 11pm. My parents finally made to Ann Arbor shortly after midnight. We all held Carly. Cried and prayed.

During that time, a resident came into our room. She told us that she had just viewed the blood slide in the lab. She confirmed that we were diagnosed with AML. She went on to tell us the entire treatment plan and then she left the room. It was around 1am and my parents and Pastor Bob left too. Leaving Paul and I alone with Carly. Alone on that God fearing 7th floor. All while the dreaded diagnosis settled in.

Part 7, to be continued….

Monday, March 1, 2010

Snow fun Sunday and Wintery Cuteness!

Sunday was a beautiful day. Full of sunshine and warmth...mid 30's warmth!
Paul and I thought it was high time to get Carly outside to play.
Due to illness and extreme cold, oh and very little snow, we haven't been able to take Carly outside to play up until Sunday.


And play she did.


Sledding.



Building a snowman.
"Frosty", just in case you're wondering!


Putting the finishing touches on "Frosty"!


Hard working!


Almost done.


Frosty at his finest..
complete with a Detroit Lions hat!

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Then we had to capture some cuteness!


Taking a break after working so hard while building Frosty!


Saying "eese"!!



Miss Smiley!


Align CenterOne final pose. At this point, she was so done with me taking pictures. I took 115 pics that day!

We sure had fun. We spent over 2 hours outside that day. Paul finally had to drag Carly into the house. The snow was kind of wet..due to some really nice sunshine. Which we were not complaining about, but wet snow makes for wet snow pants.

Not sure if we'll be able to get back out and play some more in this snow. It's melting quickly with all this sunshine. Which I'm not complaining about.

My Menu Plan.

Last week, Paul worked a very late night. So, I changed up my menu from last week just a bit. Oh, and Ashleigh didn't end up coming home last weekend. Carly was kind of sad about that. She will be home this weekend though.

This weeks menu is including the grill. It's suppose to be in the mid 40's!! That means, I'm taking advantage of grilling out! It's yummy and saves a mess in my kitchen!

I've switched our Friday night pizza night to Saturday for this week. Per Ashleigh's request. She wants it ordered from her favorite pizza shop in our town. Which is okay by me, as I've been making homemade pizza the last three weeks! It's cheaper and tastes pretty darn good too! Plus, Carly eats homemade pizza way better than take out!


Monday: Grilled burgers, french fries and toss salad

Tuesday: Grilled pork chops, grilled potatoes and veggies

Wednesday: Crock pot meal...roast, carrots and potatoes

Thursday: Crock pot chili and corn bread

Friday: Chopped steak sandwiches with coleslaw

Saturday: Pizza night (Ashleigh wants to be home for pizza night)

Sunday: Ashleigh's choice

I'm leaving you with this recipe, that I got from The Pioneer Woman herself! Love her blog. Love this easy, yummy sandwich. Although, I don't make this often, it's a hit here and it was requested for this week's menu!