Life is precious.

I've been MIA over the weekend. So much going on. I've been on Facebook chatting with old friends. I was saddened to learn of the death of a fellow classmate. Actually, this classmate was a year older than me, but when you go to a rather small school. The class above you and the class below you are so blended as friends..it's like you're all in the same class.

Learning of the sudden passing of an old friend is never easy. Especially when he leaves behind 2 kids. Grown kids, but still. This passing was senseless, to say the least. Caused by depression and alcoholism. Suicide. How very sad. Life is just to precious.

May you finally find your peace Mike.

I can admit, that briefly. Only briefly I thought about hurling myself out of a 5 story window. A window that I sat in while Carly laid in ICU fighting to survive the ECMO machine. I thought just briefly about it. Thankfully, I quickly realized that 1)how selfish of me. I had a 3 month old fighting with all her might to survive. 2)I couldn't get the faces of my kids out of my head. 3) it would be very painful and possibly not do me in. My thoughts were gone, as quickly as they came. That was that. I've never had thoughts like that prior to Carly or since that one late night pity party I threw myself.

Life is too precious.

Questions answered!

So, , , I've been getting some questions in my comments and in my email. Thought I would take a minute to answer a few.

Why not seek a second opinion regarding Carly's platelet count?
Carly's Oncologist has done every single test possible to try and get to the bottom of Carly and her platelet issue. The last test being the Ultra Sound of her spleen and liver function. Which both checked out A-okay! There are no more tests to do. As I said, we know it is not cancer. It is not due due damaged organs; such as the liver and spleen..which would have been caused by the chemo. And it has nothing to do with the functioning of the liver and spleen. ** Carly's other blood work is perfect.. well, perfect for her!**

What is ITP?
The best I can do to answer that question, since I don't really get it yet myself..is to let you read up on it yourselves. Click here. You'll likely be overloaded with information that really doesn't explain the, "why".

Aren't you a nervous wreck that her platelets will bottom out suddenly?
Well, yes I am. But, our Oncologists has told me she doubts that will happen. It could, but she doesn't expect it to. And, I know the signs to watch for. Such as Petechiae, nose bleeds, bruising - where you wouldn't typically see it on a child. Such as buttocks, upper arms, lower arms, neck, face, torso...etc. In other words, those on the knees and shins are more typical bruises for kids.

Is there any treatment for ITP?
From what I have learned thus far, yes. Mainly it is used for adults. Not in children. If her platelets did suddenly drop. Like to 10,000. She would need a platelet transfusion. Trust me, I'm still learning about this.

How did this happen (low platelets)?
Tough question. No one really knows the answer to this one. We all suspect it was due to a viral bug that Carly developed last May. It lasted for 12 days. And I mean 12 straight days, of diarrhea. Carly ended up losing just a bit over 4lbs during that bug. That's when her platelets really took a nose dive. They haven't been normal since. However, her platelets would dip down to around 107,000 & 115,000 during the months of last February '09 and November of '08. Each time, she had just been sick. So that was the doc's reasoning to both those lower than normal counts.

Will she ever recover with her platelet disorder?
Yes, she can recover her platelet disorder. Will she? We don't know. But, it is very possible. Per the Oncologist. I have read that kids do, often times get over this condition. Only time will tell. Prayers wouldn't hurt either!

Can her low platelet condition turn into cancer again?
Believe me, I asked this very question. The answer is NO! I was told that leukemia leads to low platelets. Low platelets do not lead to leukemia. We already have ruled out leukemia. Back in June when Carly had to be check via a bone marrow aspirate. The results were: 100% cancer free!

Is there anything that you need to change in your lives with this newest diagnosis?
No. We go about living life. The only real thing we need to do, is be careful with giving Carly Motrin and Advil. Although, she can have it occasionally, per the Oncologist. Otherwise. We go about our merry way. Myself..well, I need to find a bit more peace of mind with this. Other than that. Life will continue marching forward!

OUCH!

Today, at 3:15 I went out to Carly off the bus. She was all bundled up. Looked pretty much like she did when I sent her on her way this morning. We headed to the house. We fought the dog...who thinks he's human and just can not stand this very cold weather we're having. After winning the battle with the dog, we proceeded to get Carly's layers, upon layers of clothing off of her. She headed to the living room to watch her new favorite TV show. The Wizard's of Waverly Place. All the while, telling me she was hungry. I headed to the kitchen with her back back.

After getting her squared away with her homemade veggie soup ~ that I had just made this afternoon. I went back to the kitchen to go through her backpack. Each day, (only since Jan 1) the school/teacher has been sending me a binder home in Carly's backpack. I'm told what has taken place throughout the day. What goals, if any were met. I also see comments from the other staff who work with Carly. Such as SLP, OT, PT and the resource teacher. It's proven to be quite helpful. So happy they started doing this. Anyway, I opened the binder up today and found this:

"Carly fell on the playground today. She was playing with a few other girls and got bumped. She got right back up and continued to play as if she wasn't hurt. When she was back in the classroom, we noticed a scrape on her chin. She said it didn't hurt, but we still had her put an ice pack on it."

"(Carly was on the blacktop where it was clear)"

Okay, so. This is EXACTLY what I told the school would happen if Carly were outside during winter time recesses. She has such poor balance. Coupled with winter clothing; snow pants, snow boots, bulky coat, mittens, scarves and hats.... the poor kid can't walk very well through snow. She does try. Makes me a nervous wreck, but she tries. And that's important. The problem is, her balance issues. She knows she needs to be careful of the other kids. They make her nervous. They tear around like wildcats! I have no doubt that this was nothing but an accident, but it's one that I told them would happen if she were outside during winter recess.

Now...the school says that she didn't cry. Weeeeellllllllll, not sure I believe that one. These pic's don't do this chin any justice. Trust me. It's nasty looking. And She told me it hurt. I know it hurts her, because she keeps rubbing it.

I'm not going to make a big huge deal over this. Even thought it ticked me off that she was outside all bundled up..when her IEP clearly states otherwise. (during winter time) Although, I did write a note back to let them know that we may need to re-evaluate her recess time during the winter months. I did that merely to remind them..that they had better pull out her IEP and read up on it!

Another thing that I'm concerned over is the fact that these kids are outside playing on the playground with wind chills of 12. It was bitter cold here today. Tomorrow is suppose to be much colder. It's so cold, our dog can't even deal with it. Note those pink cheeks...likely wind burn. Ugh!

**Please don't look at her dirty face. I really notice it in these pic's. She comes home from school looking like a rag-a-muffin most days. :o(

My Menu Plan.

Back at it again this week. Planning for meals makes my life so much easier. Grocery shopping cheaper. If you can believe it! Actually, I make my meal plan out, head to the store and purchase just what I need. Plus some other necessities. Such as, milk, bread, cereal, juice..that type of stuff. Beats the heck out of walking around trying to plan meals while shopping.

This weeks menu:

Monday: Canned beef and noodles with green bean casserole.

Tuesday: Baked herb chicken, rice with a veggie.

Wednesday: Scalloped potatoes w/ham salad and rolls

Thursday: Goulash, fried potatoes w/veggies (didn't end up having this last week)

Friday: Pizza

Saturday: Left overs

Sunday: Potato burgers, shredded hash browns, green beans and rolls

The following recipe is a new one. I haven't even tried it yet. I found it in a magazine and thought it sounded really good.



Baked Herb Chicken:

8 skinless drumsticks
Juice of large lemon
2 cloves garlic (minced)
2 T rosemary
2 T thyme
2 tsp olive oil
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 pint grape or cherry tomatoes

Preheat oven to 425. Spray large rimmed baking sheet with nonstick spray. Place drumsticks on baking sheet. Mix juice from lemon, garlic, rosemary, thyme, oil, mustard, salt and pepper in small bowl; pour over drumsticks and toss to coat. Add tomatoes. Cook about 40 minutes, until drumsticks are cooked through & tomatoes are tender. Be sure to turn drumsticks halfway through roasting time.

Well........

Unbelievable. That's about all I can say right now.

I just received a phone call from our NP @ the cancer center. Carly's ultra sound is completely normal. Her liver and her spleen both function perfectly. So,,,what does this mean? It means we have no real explanation as to the low platelets that Carly has been dealing with since last May. They are labeling her as a child with ITP. Which I can't even pronounce!

The thought was, Carly's spleen was going to be the culprit of this issue. I'm very happy that both organs are functioning normally, but I really wanted some sort of explanation as to why. Not having an answer to this issue is quite frustrating.

Now we try to put this out of our minds..per the doctor's orders! Go on with life as usual. Recheck Carly at the cancer center in 6months. Pray that her platelets suddenly go back to normal. As the doctor says, is very much a possibility.

FYI: I learned that 2 Xanax in one day are way too much for me to handle. Ha! I've been dragging all day today. I should have listened to my friend Heather, she warned me! I really thought that I'd be able to sleep it off last night. Not the case. Live and learn, I suppose!