"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Sunday, May 4, 2014

International Bereaved Mother's Day

Today marks the 4th annual International Bereaved Mother's Day. A day that I never knew even existed until this morning, when it popped up on my Facebook feed. And I surely wish that this day didn't exist for so many of us moms.

After doing a bit of research, I found that this day falls exactly 1 week before Mother's Day each year. My take from the research I've done regarding this day, is that today is a day  marked as a reminder to those who are not bereaved mother's, to remember those of us who are.


A bereaved mother, is still a mother.
She always will be.
A bereaved mother will still face Mother's Day each year. 
Another Mother's Day without their beloved children. 
Another day in which we are reminded of the precious lives that we have lost.

This is a day that should not have to be. In fact, it kind of makes me sick to my stomach. International Bereaved Mother's Day should never have to exist. No mother should ever have to bury her child/children. It just should not be. It's not suppose to be this way. But sadly it is this way for many us.

Over that last 4yrs I have 'met' so many mothers who have had to lay their children to rest. For the most part, I think we all feel the same at some point and time throughout this gut wrenching journey. We have felt and still are feeling the greatest loss of all.  None of us wanted to ever know this feeling. Some can hold tight to their faith. Some grasp for small shards of faith. Others lose their faith completely. All of us struggle daily. We wrestle with the emptiness that consumes us each and every day. We are all familiar with the "mask" which we put on every morning. It's become routine. We do it in order to suit other people. We do it for their comfort. We do not do it for ourselves. We all have that look within our eyes. Some people will fail to see it. Others have to look very deep to see it. And then there are some who can see it from afar. We show our pain through our eyes. It's always there. No matter the mask we wear for the day. Our pain is there, it shows within our eyes. We can even see it ourselves while looking into a mirror. We feel we have aged a thousand years. We are exhausted beyond comprehension to others. We feel as if we have failed at the greatest job a woman can be given.  And we all feel the same apprehension when Mother's Day approaches each year. We are stung with reality again. The reality that our lives no longer celebrate days/holiday's/hallmark days/birthdays with all of our children. The day turns into being bitter sweet. On the sweet side, we ARE mothers. We will ALWAYS be mothers. The bitter side, we can no longer enjoy and celebrate this day with all of our children. We are left with memories that we will cherish for the rest of our lives.

Today, I am thinking of all you moms who walk this journey. We walk it together and we are the only ones who truly understand how deep our pain is daily.