"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Tomorrow, Carly and I will head to Ann Arbor to the cancer center. I can't believe that two weeks are already up. So, tonight I find myself feeling awful anxious. Although, I do think she is OK. The doc thinks she is OK. The NP thinks she is OK. Still, it's just the whole nerve wracking process. Blood work. Vitals. Waiting for counts to come back. Sitting waiting for the doctor and having your heart skip a beat as the door opens and in walks the doctor. It's the same feeling every single time. We have been doing this for almost 5 years and it just doesn't seem to be getting any easier.
I'm just praying her platelets are up to normal or at least closer to normal than 2 weeks ago.

Unfortunately Carly and I will be going alone tomorrow. Something I rarely do. I HATE going to that place without some sort of support, from someone. My mom, who normally goes with us, can not go this time. She was taken to the hospital via ambulance this afternoon. Her heart was racing upwards of 170bpm. She had extremely low blood pressure. Turns out, she is OK. No heart attack, thank God. Now though, she just feels worn out. She got home around 7 tonight and went to bed.

Other than the anxiety all day. And the excitement of my mother. It's been a pretty good day. It was terribly hot and humid out. Even Carly wanted to stay in the house. For her, that almost never happens. We were outside early for a while this morning to play. After dinner Carly and Paul and Diesel (dog) went swimming. I took a couple of pictures, but for some reason cant get them on the blog tonight. So, we'll save them for later!

Please keep Carly in your prayers tonight and tomorrow. Her appt at the lab is 10:25 and 11 to see the doctor. I'll let you know as soon as I can. You can always check twitter out on my sidebar.


Mommy to those Special Ks said...

We're praying right now Joany and will be praying tomorrow!!!

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. We will be thinking of Carly and you. I just drove all thru Ann Arbor and the U of M this weekend with my youngest son following his soccer tournament in Kalamazoo. It was a very easy drive from Cleveland so if you find you need some help just let me know.

Heather said...

I truly,truly know how anxious you are and I am sending you prayers of peace for tonight and tomorrow.

Stephanie said...

Hi Joany, We are praying for Carly and you. Sending feelings of peace.

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

so relieved your mom is ok, and saying prayers for carly's appt to go well today!!!

Cammie Heflin said...

Praying for Carly and you!