"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Reece's Rainbow, maybe someday

I received an anonymous comment here on my blog. Thought I'd share a link. Click here to view these precious little orphans. Orphans because their country, in which they are born, cast them aside at birth. Many of them because of birth defects. A large number of them are born with Down syndrome (Ds). The parents are ashamed of these children. The parents are frowned upon for giving birth to children such as these children. Children with special needs are not accepted in many other countries.

Back in December, Paul and I had inquired about a little girl in an Orphanage in Eastern Europe. Oh that little girl was a beauty. She had blond hair and wore a yellow dress. And I know most of my Ds readers know who I'm talking about!! I won't mention her name, because she has been spoken for by a forever family from right here in the USA! Thank goodness, because her time was running out.

In January-ish, I emailed Andrea, the founder of Reece's Rainbow. I inquired about the little girl with the yellow dress. I was sent several forms via email. But, very soon after, Paul lost his health insurance at work. By the time we got health insurance back, we had lost Carly. Health insurance is required in order to adopt one of these children. So that fell through. And the little girl in the yellow dress was spoken for. She had a forever family.

The problem for these children on Reece's Rainbow is that their time in an orphanage is cut short. If they are not adopted by the time they reach the age of 5 (some get lucky and can stay a bit longer), they are sent to an institution to live out the remainder of their lives. And from what I've been told, their lives, more often than not, end within 1-2 years after being institutionalized. Once they are placed within an institution, they can no longer be adopted. Then are confined to their beds. Fed rarely..if at all. :(

I will admit, when Carly was first diagnosed with Ds, (she was about 10 days old) I thought my world ended. I wasn't prepared for a child with special needs. In fact, I was in such bad shape, I had to meet my doctor on a Saturday morning. The doc told Paul and I that we were grieving for the daughter we did not get. He also said that the grieving would pass very quickly. He told us that he had many patients in his practice born with Ds. He sat and told us all about the CAN'S and NEVER once mentioned the can not's. His words finally sank in to my head. And within about a week, I was so over it. My heart was swelling with love and pride for this beautiful little 5lb8oz baby girl. We were all head over heals in love with this little girl.

Right now, I can not even imagine a family not wanting a little girl just like Carly. Oh my gosh. She was a beauty. A charmer. She was smart. Determined. Witty. Comical. Loving and yes, even stubborn. She taught our family so very much in 8 short years.

These poor little children that you see on Reece's Rainbow deserve families to love them. I've seen many of these children, (courtesy of all my online friends) adopted into wonderful families from all over the USA. These kids are thriving in their new found homes. They've been given a chance. A life. A family. Most importantly, they've been given love. Lots and lots of love.

I'm not sure why my anonymous commenter left this link for me. I visit the site often. Believe me, the thought of adoption has been in our hearts for a couple of years. We wanted to give Carly a sibling closer to her age. We also wanted to save one of these children from a god awful institution.

Reece's Rainbow, maybe someday...

9 comments:

Zoey's mom said...

Perhaps they knew you well and knew your heart and knew that you and Paul loved Carly so unconditionally and completely.That you saw the gift in the extra chromosome and they too thought, maybe one day ...

Sending love Joany

Cory said...

I have thought the same thing for you guys. Horray that someone was so brave to post the link. I think we all visit there often. :-) Maybe they were just giving you a little nudge, knowing that there is still enough love in your heart to give to another child with a Dx similar to Carly's. {{HUGS}} to you on your journey where ever it takes you guys.

Tina said...

My heart goes out to those precious angels, I wish I was in a position to adopt, unfortunately not living in the U.S. makes it very hard, although I have been enquiring. I think if ever you do think about it again...someday....there will be nothing so wonderful as hearing the laughter of a child in your home again and knowing the love you can give, I think any child would be so very lucky to have you as their mom.

my family said...

I think they knew what wonderful parents you are and your love for sweet Carly. Another child could never take her place but your love could change the life of a child ;) I am so happy to hear this and maybe this will be in you and Paul's future.

stephanie said...

Oh Joanie I too look longingly at all the Sweets. We are not eligible at this time. Only our hearts are.
Maybe some day for the two of us...

Karol said...

We too look longingly at the RR children, wanting desperately to bring one or two or three of the home. My children ache to have DS back in our home. We tried, we tried with everything in us. Even went so far as to commit to two children. However, there is one woman who stands at the door of international adoption in our state. She said no, our daughter died a tragic death, therefore we are considered an "unacceptable risk." So we watch, we pray. We see many children claimed by forever families, yet many more go unloved, unnurtured, uncared for. We see some transferred to mental institutions were horrid death is imminent. We watch with broken hearts and wonder "How" "How can that be better than the love we have to give these children?" We pray for those children whom the Lord has written upon our hearts, and we hope that there is another out there, who's child did not die in an accident, someone to love them

Anonymous said...

Anonymous here ~ Let me just say that it was put on my heart to list the Reece's Rainbow link. I don't know you and just recently happened upon your blog and your pain is very palpable. I am so sorry for your loss. I was hesitant typing the link because I didn't want you to think for one minute that someone thought you could replace your precious Carly. But, it really wasn't "my" idea. Although, it does seem to me you have a heart made to love more . . . maybe someday.

Amy L said...

Hi Joany,
I just wanted to introduce myself. I am Amy Lucas (we are FB friends) and I am the Family Service Coordinator for Russia for Reece's Rainbow. I have also adopted two little boys with Ds from Russia. I live quite close to you in Saline, Michigan. I have been praying for your family and it breaks my heart that you have lost Carly. She is truly a precious angel. Sending hugs and prayers to you,
Amy Lucas

wordgardener said...

Wow. Someone sent me your blog. our stories are so incredibly similar. Leukemia took our Caylyn 2 1/2 years ago. She was 6. Today I am in Ukraine, paying that love forward, as we adopt Marina and give her a second chance. I am not the one who sent you the link to RR but someone sent it to me not long after Cay passed on to heaven. I wish I could come and tell you the stories that happened to us to confirm that God and Jesus and Heaven are very very very real. This is good news since I have one foot there already and I know that I know that I know, that I will hold Caylyn again. In the meantime tomorrow we have court in a country 6 thousand miles from our home...you may email me if you like. I am Cathy and I am at foggydogs@yahoo.com If you would like to see our photos, our blog is here...
http://savingmarina.blogspot.com/
I am praying for you to find the peace that settled in my heart when I realized God is real. Love, Cathy Bachman