"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Christmas Eve

I've been meaning to get this post published since...well, Christmas, but just didn't sit down and do it.

My counselor gave me the idea do a candle lighting memorial for Carly on Christmas Eve. Well, it could be done anytime during the holiday's really. I decided to do it on Christmas Eve. My counselor had gotten this idea from The Compassionate Friends after the loss of her 33 yr old son over 8 years ago. The idea behind the memorial of course is to honor the memory of your loved one who passed away. It's actually a reading to be done as 4 candles are lit. In our case, I decided to have 5 candles. The center candle was lit to represent Carly. I lit it as I explained why we were doing this memorial lighting. The other 4 were lit while reading a few short lines of remembrance. Ashleigh read and lit a candle. My cousins Cyndi and Leanne each read and each lit a candle. And my sister in-law Sandy read and lit a candle. There were many tears and much sadness as we memorialized Carly on Christmas Eve. It was very bitter sweet.

The candles were to be placed in the center of a wreath. I bought a plain wreath and decorated it. Found some candle holders at The Hobby Lobby (except I forgot a candle holder for the center candle, so we flipped a jar candle over and used it!) and made a pretty little memorial arrangement.

As I said, this could have been done at any point over the holiday's. I decided Christmas Eve was the best time. All the people who loved Carly and who Carly loved, would be together (minus my oldest brother and his family, who live out of state) and be able to be a part of this.

I also lit the candles on Christmas day and New Years Day and of course on Carly's birthday (Jan 2). This is something that we will continue to do each year. Although it sucks that we even have to. We will. We will because of our never ending love for Carly.


Googsmom said...

Beautiful Joany, precious!!

Kristen said...

I feel honored to have these glimpses into your life and how your sweet Carly, while so far from you, remains close to your heart. Thanks for sharing Joany.

Michele Risner said...

It's a beautiful new tradition. We wish we could have been there, but we were there in spirit and our thoughts were with you throughout the holiday

Lorraine, AKA Forever Blessed said...

Joany, I don't have your email addess, but I WOULD LOVE to have the readings if you don't mind sharing. I've left you comments before that our Chrissie (from Serbia) went to Heaven May 19, 2010 after a 31-day battle following open-heart surgery. We light a candle for Chrissie whenever we have gatherings in our home, as a remembrance of Chrissie, but I would love to do this candle lighting memorial ceremony with the readings. I looked on the Compassionate Friends site, but didn't find the readings. If you don't mind sharing, please email me at Lorraine@ForgottenSawRanch.com. My blog is www.AllArePreciousInHisSight.blogspot.com. Thank you!

Cindy said...

Such a beautiful way to remember Carly.

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