I've been reading particular quote on facebook over the last several days. This quote can be interpreted in a couple different ways. That's the problem with quotes.
The quote I'm talking about reads as follows:
"I don't think the worst thing that could happen to me is having a child with Special Needs. I think the worst thing would be to raise a child who is cruel to people with Special Needs."
I've seen this appear on several of my facebook friends status updates. This quote, which was taken from a someone else's blog, was written by a person who doesn't even have a special needs child. Which, in my eyes, doesn't give them any insight on just what it means to have a special needs child. How can a person who doesn't have a special needs child even know what it's like? They can not. There is just no possible way.
My take on this quote is far, and I mean FAR different than the next guy/gal. You see, in my eyes, being given a special needs child is a blessing. A blessing that people who do not have a special needs child can possible know anything about. Most people who do not have a special needs child are thankful. Lets face it, and be honest. They ARE thankful. Which is so very sad.
Now, I admit, I didn't always think it was a blessing to be given a special needs child. Truth be told, I had never even thought about what it would be like. So when I was hit with the news soon after Carly's birth, that she may have been born with Down syndrome, I was devastated. I was devastated because this was not the child I wanted. Nor the child I dreamed of. How foolish I was thinking like that. Thankfully, that devastation and foolishness only lasted a few days..about 10 to be exact. And by then, I was so in love with my teeny tiny little blessing, that extra chromosome didn't matter to me at all.
As far as a child being cruel to a special needs child. Well, that falls directly on the parents of said, "cruel child". It was my experience, since Carly started going to a public school in kindergarten..it is NOT the child who finds a difference. It's the parent. The parents steer their child into cruelty. It's something the child learns. Something that comes directly from HOME. Something that, in time can fester over the years and turn people completely rotten. Just remember where that came from. HOME.
The kids in Carly's kindergarten and first grade classes loved her. They LOVED our girl. The parents, not so much. We were even told during an IEP meeting, (by a god awful teacher,,who didn't even care for Carly..but that's a whole 'nother subject!) that parents were voicing concerns that our child was being taught side by side with their children. How's that for a kick in the gut? Straight out of the..hold it...dare I say it?? PARENTS mouths. So yeah, a cruel child begins at HOME people! You get out of your kids just what you put into the raising of them. If you show them how to be nasty and cruel, eventually they will pick it up.
I can say what it's like to have a special needs child. I lived it for 8 years. I dealt with the cruel remarks of teachers and staff at the school (all adults). I dealt with hearing from the school, how PARENTS questioned my daughter being taught with their child. Oh my god that broke my heart. Carly was so sweet. Kind and loving. She was gentle and caring. A good natured child. Well behaved, even more so than her fellow, "typical" peers. She was doted on by all of her classmates. I witnessed with my own eyes just how much the kids loved her. I went to the school countless times to observe Carly in action with her peers. Those kids loved her. Those kids insisted that their parents take them to Carly's visitation at the funeral home. Their parents were all at a loss of words at the funeral home. And I made a point to tell them, "you have a special little boy/girl, who you should be so proud of because he/she was such a great friend to our girl." I hope that my words stung those parents. If only for a moment. Those poor classmates cried puddles of tears for our girl. Those kids still talk about our girl. To this day, those kids miss our girl. Thankfully, those idiotic parents hadn't yet rubbed off on their kids by the age of 7. And I hope our girl taught those parents a lesson. The lesson that their kids are capable of accepting a special needs child. Their kids didn't bitch and moan that Carly was in their classroom, learning along side of them. That my friends, is what their parents did. So, yeah,,,the parents do eventually rub off on their kids.
In my opinion there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING that compares to losing a child. Having a special needs child...really is difficult at times, but so very worth it. Having a cruel child, well people...that's your fault. You teach your kids to be mean and that's what you'll get. A mean, cruel kid. That's up to all you parents out there. But. BUT, having your sweet little 8 year old literally drop dead before your eyes is the absolute worse thing ever. I would take a special needs child or a cruel child, hands down, over a dead one! Everything else in life is pure pettiness folks. Once you have to visit your 8 year old at a cemetery, reality hits you square in the face. The pettiness in life is just that, pettiness.
Please be careful with the quotes you steal from others. . . and don't judge me for my take on them. Because, seriously, if you think you have it bad with a special needs child or a cruel child...step in my shoes for a day. You'd then be very, very thankful.
As I said, my take on this quote may differ greatly than yours. We may all read the same words, but look at those words in a completely different way. That's, the problem with quotes!
***on a side note, I lost a couple facebook friends after I posted my take on this quote. Pettiness people...pettiness.***
T. O. Y. O.
19 minutes ago