"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."
BJKarrer

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Think Before You Speak


Dear Friend, today you broke my heart,
In a place that was unbroken.
You did it with your thoughtless words
That should not have been spoken.
You know that I am grieving,
That my pain is deep and real.
Your hurtful words pierced like a knife.
How do you think I feel?
You may not suffer from my loss
Or share this lonely grief,
But I'm mourning my baby,
Who's life was much too brief.
I'm sure you don't know how I feel,
I don't expect you to.
Don't ask me to get over it....
That's something I can't do.
Without grief, there's no healing
It's a journey I must make.
It's not the path that I would choose,
but one I'm forced to take.
No matter how you choose to see
What I am going through,
I need compassion and support....
I'd do the same for you.
~ Angie Robbins Sexton

This is a poem I found by way of one of my online grief support groups. I thought I'd share it with you all. And boy, does it ever speak volumes. So many people I've encountered in the past 17months, have said things that are not so sweet. Just not nice. Things that just do not need to be said. Now, I know I'm suppose to have a 'thick skin' but seriously....WORDS do HURT...and hurtful words are multiplied by numbers that are way beyond existence, when you are a grieving mother.

4 comments:

nicole said...

I cannot imagine how painful losing Carly has been and continues to be. When I read your words filled with pain and sorrow, I wish so badly that I could take just an ounce of it away for you. Your love for her is so deep, it's who you are. Praying for you.

Zoey's mom, Heather said...

Who said you should have a thick skin my friend? Because,those who love you and love Carly, don't expect anything from you. And certainly not a thick skin... your skin is fragile and easily torn. And should be handled with care, always.

I am sorry your have been hurt. I am sorry that people are thoughtless and cruel. I know just a little about that, since life began with Zoey.

Sending love and peace and strength your way as you continue navigating life without Carly and now in the absence of Ashleigh. You and Paul are never far from my thoughts.

stephanie said...

Yes exactly what H said, why should you have thick skin!!

I can't understand how someone could even imagine being unkind to you. Or could possibly suggest that you get over it, as the poem says, that's just idiotic.

Love and hugs!

Salinas family said...

Can't imagine why ANYONE would think it's ok to tell you how you should feel!!! Sorry some are so uncomfortable with grief that they think it's their place to tell you how you should be behaving. I haven't lost a child, so I can't know how you feel. But just imagining losing one of mine, I don't know how anyone ever comes to terms with it. Grieve how you need to Joaney. Be gentle and kind to yourself. There are so many of us out here in blogland who care so deeply for you!
Karen
Logan UT