"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dentist appointment.

Carly had her dentist appointment this morning. The one where she was to have her intruded tooth checked out. Remember, the tooth that jammed down into her gum after the fall off a bike at summer school? Today was the day.

Our morning didn't exactly start off smoothly. It was raining cats and dogs outside. Carly is scared to death of rain.(It's a long story, I'll tell you all about it some other time). I knew I was in for trouble due to that darn rain. I got her dressed. She freaked out hearing the rain hit the skylights in the house. We then put Hannah Montana on her boom box and blasted the house out! Only because I needed her to calm down so I could pre-medicate her before her dental appointment. I was hoping the loud music would put her in a better mood. It did for a few minutes. Until I discovered...I had forgotten to do her hair. She HATES having her hair done almost as bad as she hates the rain. I decided I had better get her med in her first. Then battle her with her hair. She ended up in tears, as usual with the brushing of her hair. Ever since she lost her hair due to chemo., she absolutely hates anyone touching/brushing/combing her hair. I've been told that some people have tender scalps after chemo...maybe so, but this is unreal. She's been off chemo since November '06. Although, before chemo., she would sit with no problem while I did her hair. Maybe there is a coloration there.

Finally, we headed out the door. I had to carry her with an umbrella over our heads to the car. She worried herself sick all the way to the Dentist all because of the stupid rain.

Once at the Dentist, she went right in and made herself at home. Scary how comfortable she is in a medical environment. I talked with the hygienist first. Then they came and took Carly to the exam room. They told me they would rather I not go back with her. Carly wouldn't let go of me. I had to pry her off me and put her hand into the hygienists hand. I was a bit uncomfortable with that. No dentist has ever told me to wait in the waiting room while one of my kids goes in for a checkup.

The dentist had me come into his office. We talked a bit. And then. BOOM! He started going on and on and on and on and on...about "special needs kids". How some are so combative and how they need to restrain them. I nearly fainted. I couldn't believe what this guy was telling me. He hadn't even met Carly at this point. How did he know anything about her? What he knew was, Down syndrome. I wrote it on her registration form. Of course, he had to jump the gun and assume the absolute worse in my daughter. I snapped back at him and told him, "Carly is NOT combative whatsoever". Finally, he caught my drift and shut his mouth.

The appointment went well. They cleaned her teeth. Did x-rays and an oral exam. No cavities!!
Which surprised me a little. Carly is not too good at brushing her own teeth, but insists on doing it herself. And, she has never been to a dentist before. Bad of me I know. Honestly, our plate was just a tad bit full the last few years. Anyway, for preventive measures and to monitor her injured teeth, she will be going in every 3 months for cleanings and an oral exam. Fine by me. I would rather make sure her teeth are getting good cleanings. We will of course have to pay for a few appointments out of pocket, but it's only $60. to have a cleaning. Money well spent in my opinion.

As far as her damaged tooth/teeth. Well, we have to sit back and hope they continue to do well. This dentist thinks they will be okay. He did discover today that her top two front teeth were also damaged during her fall off the bike. The ER didn't x-ray her top teeth. So, we now have 5 teeth to be on the lookout for. The three on the bottom and two on the top. Ugh! We have to watch for abscess teeth and rotting teeth. Nice huh? Oh, the dentist today also said that if she were to fall and bump her mouth again, it could be disastrous for her teeth. Just what a mom wants to hear. NOT! They are all permanent by the way.

They did end up putting her in a papoose. I'm not sure how I really feel about that. I mean, I want her safe for sure, but not sure she truly needed to be strapped down for crying out loud. They said she kept reaching up and messing with her mouth. It makes me wonder if that were the honest truth. She is so shy around people, I doubt she moved one single muscle during the entire 30 minutes or so. Course, I will never know because they refused to allow me in the room with her. I mean, Carly is a kid who goes in for lab work/blood draws and climbs up in the chair all by herself. She sits perfectly still while they poke her. She doesn't hardly bat an eye.

I think it all boils down to Carly having the label of Down syndrome. They think they need to strap our kids down. I beg to differ. Our kids, or should I say, my kid is not a difficult kid. She is just like every other kid out there. Sure, she may look a bit different. She may learn a bit slower, but she isn't a freak show for goodness sake. Treat her like every other kid. Not like an animal.

As we were checking out. The lady at the desk was oh so snotty. She told me that because Carly is a "special needs kid" she has to be seen early in the mornings. I said, "WHAT. Are you serious"? I could not believe what I just heard. She then went on to say, "That's what the doc said. Give her an 8:30 appointment". That didn't sit well with me at all. I told this gal that it was just too bad what the doctor says. That time will not work for us. I went on to tell her that Carly needs to be pre-medicated an hour before she is seen. So you want me to pull her out of bed and jam a syringe in her mouth and then head out the door to this place? She responded with, "yes, that's what doc said". I told her quite frankly, "too bad what the doc said. We need a time that is convenient for us". About that time, the hygienist came in and asked what the problem was. I told her before this old snot of a woman could get a word out. Finally, after the hygienist gave the snot woman a dirty look, we got a 9:30 am appointment. As we were leaving the old snot said, "we have to give the special needs kids early appoints. They tend to act up more in the afternoon". Lucky for her, I grabbed Carly's hand and headed out the door. On the tip of my tongue, was a not so nice comment that would have likely gotten me thrown out on my butt. What was it you ask? This is what I wanted to say.... "my daughter may have been born with Down syndrome and you all may look down on her for that...but at least she wasn't born with a big case of ugly like you were".

Glad that appointment is over. I'm also glad that Carly had no cavities. Shew!


Lacey said...

Man you are a better woman then me. I would have given her a mouthfull. I think I'm getting crabby. Maybe because people are so stupid sometimes.

Me said...

OMG...my jaw has totally hit the floor. PLEASE tell me you're not going back to that dentist? What a bunch of ignorant you know whats!

My dentist office tells me I don't need to go in with my kids, but they also don't insist I don't go in. Kaia is very good with medical people as well, and the dentist is no exception. The only "assumption" that they have made with Kaia is that maybe she would be more comfortable by having the same hygenist at every visit, just to keep things consistent for her. The hygenist actually insists she work on Kaia because she's got 20 years experience with working with kids and will do whatever it takes to make kids feel comfortable and relaxed. She would never dream of restraining someone, and she has even done a cleaning while sitting on the floor with a child, because that made them more comfortable. She has told me every time that Kaia is probably one of her best patients. If someone kept telling me how "special needs kids" are, then I think I would slap them. I hope you find a better dentist.

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. OMG!! Big hugs to you for having to deal with all of that. I just truly can't believe what comes out of peoples mouths. Do you have to use this dentist? For location or insurance perhaps? If not, I might look for other options. Gosh that was just not a good appointment and with some totally misguided notions. Despite it all, it seems Carly cooperated nicely.

Heidi said...

I can't believe what I just read! How can people be so ignorant and rude? I'm so glad you pushed that horrible receptionist for a later time.

I'm glad Carly's teeth look good and that your appointment is over!

Jeana said...

Honestly, I just can't believe it. Thinking they can expect every child with "special needs" to act the same. She is not a "special needs kid" she is Carly and should not be labeled like that. I have not had much experience in this area in my life but I would never consider saying or doing such things, it should be common sense not to.

I'm thankful for your posts because I can try to imagine myself in your place and try to decide now how I will react when these kinds of situations come up with Kaelyn...something I really need because when my adrenaline starts pumping I just don't think clearly. I probably would have just left in tears and not paid my bill. I look up to you for standing up to the receptionist and I loved what you wanted to say to her, but also the fact that you were able to hold it in. Your amazing and your daughter is inspiring! Thanks so much.

Shari said...

Oh.My.Goodness! I can't believe that! I have a special needs child also and that would burn me up listening to all that. There are other dentists out there. Please tell me you aren't going back. That's just not fair to Carly.

Anonymous said...

K. I don't even know who you are, but I am fuming over your dentist ordeal. I am a friend of Lacey and Jax's. I work at a dentist office. My son went to a ped dentist ONCE! I will never go back. I know that one dr should not give them all a bad name, but in my eyes it did. Same thing. "They do better if the mom is not with them." Please do not try to assume that you even know my child and how he will do. They were completely wrong about that. He had a traumatic experience and it took me years to get him to feel comfortable at the dentist again. Thank goodness he goes to my Dentist and he is great with him. You totally need to find a new dentist. They are a few screws loose in my opinion. I have also heard that sometimes they like you in the waiting room so that if the kid doesn't let them do anything, they can still bill your ins. Makes sense. I think you should get some referrals and take your sweet angel to someone who isn't stupid OR ugly. Just my opinion. :)

Michelle said...

Wow! Do you HAVE to see that dentist again, or even that practice? Can you go somewhere else? Their behavior certainly wouldn't make me feel welcomed in bringing my daughter there - how awful! Does this dentist actually advertise as specializing in special needs patients? If not maybe you can find someone that does. I took Kayla to a dentist who has experience w/special needs and a good dentist will take their time with a child and get to know them and their personality before jumping to conclusions like that. I'm sorry you had such an awful appt!

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