"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Friday, November 11, 2011

7 Days...

until we see Ashleigh again. Knowing that we would be seeing her has given us something to look forward to during the past month. We are VERY anxious and excited to see Ash next week. I'm sure it will be a very emotional reunion.
We received a letter from Ash the other day, telling us that on 11/8 she would be going into the gas chamber. I, myself would have been freaked out by that....not Ash, she was excited and seemed to be looking forward to do it! The Navy has been keeping her very, very busy and that is likely a good thing. This Saturday they are having the Captains Cup, which means that each division compete against each other, kind of like school kids having field days. She sounds pretty excited about it. Another task she will take on this week is being placed on a simulated ship, built by Disney. Her Chief has told them to "prepare yourselves, it's very much reality." They are kept up for 40 straight hours with no food. Again, she is looking forward to it. She says, "sounds like fun." Once all of that is complete, they are considered Sailors!
As for her emotional/mental state concerning the death of Brad, she is very confused. She is angry and so hurt that so many people who know our family, had started gossiping about our son, her brother and the cause of his death. It's so hurtful when others run their mouths. It has hurt her deeply. As I've said before, WE knew our son..those who talk and speculate, did NOT. And those who talk/gossip/speculate have no flipping idea what the State Police have shared with us. Poor Ashleigh is not able to come to terms with the fact that she has no siblings left. I imagine its pretty hard to wrap her brain around what has happened to our family while having to focus on getting through basic training. She says that the reality has not fully hit her yet and she fears and dreads the day it does. We dread it for her :*( too.
Although we will only have Friday (11/18) to actually spend with Ashleigh, we are all looking very forward to it. Her graduation is at 9am ending at 10:30am and from there, she is granted "liberty", which means a day pass and she will be able to leave the base and head into Chicago with us to spend much of the day. On Saturday (11/19), Ash will be taken to the Airport bright and early...like 3am...where she will sit for some several hours before being placed on a plane and taken to her next base. I think we are going to make a stop at the airport and spend some time with her there as well. Once on the plane, she will head to Mississippi where she will be attending schooling for 8 weeks. She has asked that Paul and I come to her for Christmas this year. Nothing is definite yet, we are still waiting to see if she may possibly get leave time to come home for the holidays. But, if she prefers us going to her, then we will. We're going to do whatever she would like. If being home with us and my family, then we'll do that, but if not...we will be in Mississippi this Christmas. I don't even want to think "Christmas" it scares the crap out of me this year.
Next Monday we meet with the insurance agent and our new adjuster..I got the other adjuster removed from our claim...only to now find out he has been bad mouthing us, (since being removed) to people we've called in for quotes/estimates that we have being gathered. NOT, cool! Safe to say, we are not looking forward to our meeting.
We do however, look forward to getting all this insurance garb out of the way. We'd like to be able to actually let our grief take over and not be dealing with back and forth crap from the insurance company. I've never run across people who have no compassion like these insurance people...sheesh. We are floored by all this insurance crap. Just when you think you've paid your premiums for 18yrs to have homeowners insurance..and be covered,,just in case the unimaginable happens...your eyes are opened to a whole knew piece of the insurance puzzle when the unimaginable does happen.
7 days...can't wait till this week passes!
**most of this post has been done on my phone..hopefully, it will post okay. I would really like my own computer again!


Cindy said...

Your phone? That explains it, I'd been wondering how you were posting. Although I'm thankful you are. I think of you just about every day.

"Ashleigh is not able to come to terms with the fast that she has no siblings left." Brought me to tears.

Praying for your family -

Unknown said...

I hope your reunion with Ashleigh is a joyous one. Wish these days could pass a little faster for you.

CrazyNutsMom said...

I cannot comprehend what all you must be going through.

I will keep your family in my prayers.

Darlene said...

I stumbled upon your blog through JEllen's. Although I don't know you, my heart grieves for the horiffic pain you are going through I know there are no words for me to say to comfort you - but I did want to let you know I am praying for you and your family.

I hope your reunion with your daughter is blessed beyond measure.


Catherine said...

I hope she lets those know who are trying to engage her into discussion about the particulars of the tragedy, that she isn't going there and ends that. I hope you do the same. Yes, people love to gossip and speculate, but it will be over soon. I am sorry that this is coming to your attention and I'd like to kick those who are so rude to do so. All that matters here is that you lost your precious, child, a young man in his prime, ready to embark on his adulthood, and that is the tragedy. Your family deserves compassion and love, not questions an innuendos. Please try not let this get in the way of remembering the wonderful young man your son was.

Keeping you in our prayers

Dez said...

Joanie, I had not been blogging for quite a while now, so I was unaware of the loss of your son, until I read one of your FB posts, so I came to your blog. My heart is so heavy with pain for you & your family. We lost our son in a car accident on February 18, 2006. A friend and I went to search for him when the police refused to believe he was missing for 3 days.... My friend & I found him in his car at the bottom of a creek. Jeffrey was 22 yrs. We buried him on his 23rd Birthday. I cannot imagine your loss with 2 of your children gone, and your home with all those memories also. You are not alone. If you ever need to talk.... Please know that Our thoughts & prayers are with you, Paul & Ashleigh.