"Grieving the loss of a child is a process, it begins the day your child passes and ends the day the parent joins them."

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Today, at 3:15 I went out to Carly off the bus. She was all bundled up. Looked pretty much like she did when I sent her on her way this morning. We headed to the house. We fought the dog...who thinks he's human and just can not stand this very cold weather we're having. After winning the battle with the dog, we proceeded to get Carly's layers, upon layers of clothing off of her. She headed to the living room to watch her new favorite TV show. The Wizard's of Waverly Place. All the while, telling me she was hungry. I headed to the kitchen with her back back.

After getting her squared away with her homemade veggie soup ~ that I had just made this afternoon. I went back to the kitchen to go through her backpack. Each day, (only since Jan 1) the school/teacher has been sending me a binder home in Carly's backpack. I'm told what has taken place throughout the day. What goals, if any were met. I also see comments from the other staff who work with Carly. Such as SLP, OT, PT and the resource teacher. It's proven to be quite helpful. So happy they started doing this. Anyway, I opened the binder up today and found this:

"Carly fell on the playground today. She was playing with a few other girls and got bumped. She got right back up and continued to play as if she wasn't hurt. When she was back in the classroom, we noticed a scrape on her chin. She said it didn't hurt, but we still had her put an ice pack on it."
"(Carly was on the blacktop where it was clear)"

Okay, so. This is EXACTLY what I told the school would happen if Carly were outside during winter time recesses. She has such poor balance. Coupled with winter clothing; snow pants, snow boots, bulky coat, mittens, scarves and hats.... the poor kid can't walk very well through snow. She does try. Makes me a nervous wreck, but she tries. And that's important. The problem is, her balance issues. She knows she needs to be careful of the other kids. They make her nervous. They tear around like wildcats! I have no doubt that this was nothing but an accident, but it's one that I told them would happen if she were outside during winter recess.

Now...the school says that she didn't cry. Weeeeellllllllll, not sure I believe that one. These pic's don't do this chin any justice. Trust me. It's nasty looking. And She told me it hurt. I know it hurts her, because she keeps rubbing it.

I'm not going to make a big huge deal over this. Even thought it ticked me off that she was outside all bundled up..when her IEP clearly states otherwise. (during winter time) Although, I did write a note back to let them know that we may need to re-evaluate her recess time during the winter months. I did that merely to remind them..that they had better pull out her IEP and read up on it!

Another thing that I'm concerned over is the fact that these kids are outside playing on the playground with wind chills of 12. It was bitter cold here today. Tomorrow is suppose to be much colder. It's so cold, our dog can't even deal with it. Note those pink cheeks...likely wind burn. Ugh!
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**Please don't look at her dirty face. I really notice it in these pic's. She comes home from school looking like a rag-a-muffin most days. :o(


my family said...

poor baby I know that must have hurt. I am shocked that they go outside in that type of weather. We stay inside if it is 50 lol...I guess you all have the winter clothes though (unlike us).

Anonymous said...

then again, who wants to be singled out and have to stay in at recess? From the sounds of it, she wanted to be just like everyone else and didn't even want to acknowledge that it happened (making her different). Believe it or not, teachers DON'T lie to parents....and for windburn, there are products out there similar to chapstick for the face that parents buy and use on their children when it's cold....buy some and think twice before blaming things where the blame doesn't lie. I'm appalled that you posted this! Shame on you! Those teachers care about your child and do their best....YOU owe them an apology for using a public forum to put them down and lay blame.

Anonymous said...

Wait, YOU didn't even notice the scrape until you read a note about it. and for not making a big deal, it sure sounds like one to me.

Heather said...

Okay Joany ... ouch for Carly.The picture does looks nasty and painful but .. what the heck, and I'm being tame with my language here, are the comments from above about...Seriously,whom ever you are...please by all means move on and don't come here to read about Carly and her family.AND ... I just love when people are so opinionated but hide behind anonymous.Kills me.If you are so convicted with your opinion and the words you choose to speak or rather write.. make yourself know.

Okay.. I'm done.Sorry Joany.Just had to say that.

Kristin said...

Ouch is right.

My name is Sarah said...

oh Carly that looks like it hurts. I used to get hurt all the time on the playground too. I even broke my wrist once on the monkey bars and had a little cast.

Tina:0) said...

Uff! My oldest came home with a purple mark on her chin just like that & when I first saw it I thought it was marker. Then she told me that she had fallen in the gym! Wha...?!?! I phoned the teacher & she tells me "oh, the sub forgot to tell you". Lets just say that I kept a much closer eye on her after that!

And as for the high & mighty "anonymous" commenter... why don't you stand on that soapbox with your name showing?! I agree with Heather. Seems quite cowardly to me to criticise someone else & not even have the guts to "show your face (or name in this case)!"

Hope Miss Carly's chin is better soon!

Joyce said...

Dear Anonymous, I saw your comments earlier when I was helping my daughter leave a note to her friend Carly. I do have a little more experience in this arena only because my daughter is now twenty. I do understand your position about wanting to do what the other children are doing, however, is there a reason that you felt it necessary to leave a comment in the attack mode? Those of us who blog here, do so as a support to one another. Moms talking to moms about the joys, frustrations and challenges of raising children with Down syndrome, many with significant medical issues. And why do we do this? because we understand each other. We have all been in the same place at one time or another. Do you know what it is like to have a child come home from school and not be able to completely articulate what happened to her? Do you have any idea the sinking feeling that leaves in your gut? I would hope that next time you lerk out there on this blog you will have the decency to think before you respond with such contempt,whoever you are.

Tina said...

Ouch poor dear Carly, I hope the scrape stops hurting soon and that that's exactly what it is just a scrape...
I am so appalled reading the above comments from Anonymous, and just wanted let this person know that this is a place we parents come to to share with each other a very important and significant part of our lives, so please have the decency to respect the sanctity of this very special place and that the worries and concerns we show here might be one of the most significant as well as life changing for us. We share our happiness, sadness, joys and worries here because we know others will understand so if all you can contribute is in the form of an attack I would suggest you stay away from reading these blogs as you obviously cannot empathize with nor feel what might go on in a parents mind when their child is out there on her own.
These blogs are obviously not meant for you, I am sure you can find other blogs which will be of far greater interest, everything is not necessarily meant for everyone, and if you have nothing positive to say I suggest say nothing...and deep inside if you weren't ashamed of what you said I think you would have had the guts to leave your name.

Unknown said...

Dear Anonymous...you are obviously a teacher. And not a very caring one at that. Sadly, teachers do LIE. They lie to parents all the time. Teachers also run their mouths about kids. Which in turn bites them in the butt. This teacher DOES NOT go outside with her students. She has no way of knowing just what took place. I KNOW my kid. I KNOW that she would have cried. She bumps her knee and cries crocodile tears! NO. I didn't notice her chin. If you note, Carly is bundled up during the winter. Not that I feel the need to explain this to a coward who doesn't even leave their name...but when a kid is bundled up with a scarf etc, you sure can't see what has gone on with their chin! As far as wind burn.. Maybe you should talk with your doctor. Our, now 20 year old, "typical" son, had wind burn when he was 6. From recess. Our doctor saw it (for unrelated reasons) and our doctor flipped his lid. Not only was our son's face wind burned, so were his eyes. Yep...the doctor jumped my A$$ for sending out a small child in the very same type of weather the school sent Carly out in. Funny thing with that little story..it was the SAME SCHOOL! I haven't made a big deal about this. Trust me. MANY moms with special needs kids, would have. I simply told them to look over the IEP,where the "plan" for winter recess is laid out in black and white. Oh..I also figure you were a follower. Cuz, I'm now down one follower. LOL!!!!

I have very few anonymous comments. I find this amusing in a way. People actually take the time to jump on to a story, and twist it around without having the courage to leave their names. In that case. I agree with my fellow blogging friends. DONT check up on my family. Thank you!

Oh...if you read my profile. It simply tells people to click on the red X if you don't like what I have to say! Please, next time leave your name or just simply click the red X!

Becca said...

Oh, poor Carly!! That really stinks. And the Anonymous poster should be ashamed. Unreal.

Lacey said...

Why in the world are they letting kids go outside if its that cold?
I also love how people like to leave nasty comments anonymously. Leave your name coward! We do want our children to be as normal as possible, and no, a scrape won't kill her. But with low platlets there is a bleeding risk!
And I agree, teachers lie all the time. But I do believe most love our children!

Jenee said...

I hope Carly's chin feels better real soon.
As far as the cold, we are only 2 hours west of you (Muskegon), and holy smokes is it freezing, it was only 13 degrees when the boys went to school this morning not counting the wind chill. Yesterday (Wed) the kids didn't go outside at school recess, it was way to cold. Your school shouldn't have either! I don't know the exact degree that they HAVE to cancel outside recess, but yesterday should have been one of those days.
And to Miss. Anonymous, shame on you!!! There are amazing teacher's out there, yes, and then there are horrible one's that cause a fear in your gut as a parent. If you do work in the field you need to open your eyes, and the feeling I get by you being soooo defensive for teachers is that you have something to be defensive about. And deep down you know what I'm saying is true. Its people like you that make me fear the day Kaitlyn starts school, like I said, Shame on you!!!!

Mama Mason-Mann said...

AWw, poor baby! It's never a good feeling to see a "boo boo" on our "babies" no matter how it happened! I know it's easier said then done, but I wouldn't waste another minute on "anonymous". Anyone who leaves such a disrespectful comment without a name doesn't deserve your energy or time.

Michelle said...

Ouch indeed! Poor Carly :( I can't believe they go outside in that cold of temps! I don't think they go out here if it's below 32. And can you imagine how much time it takes for the kids to get all that bundled up if they are putting on snow pants and boots and all that stuff? Geesh!